Tuesday, November 09, 2004

But I Do Live an Alternative Lifestyle!

(This was a draft I never published. But upon review, I'm gonna. It was from last year. Oy!)



Ok, let me see if I got this right. The Democratic Party claims to be the "big tent" party. Which means that all walks of life are welcomed, embraced by the love and diversity that they claim to have a lock on, under the large expanse of brotherly love canvas-big enough to shelter one and all.
Hmmmm, we have a problem here,then.

See, my friends and I are being discriminated against by the Democratic Party and those of their ilk. It happens on a daily basis. We are subjected to the most hateful of epithets, innuendo, slanderous accusations and out and out lies. Our children's parentage is being questioned. Our personal habits being gossiped about. Our ability to function in the world is subject to speculation. Our mental health is being made sport of. Our lifestyle, real or imagined by them, is the topic for many a poorly constructed joke.
Our intelligence is most certainly being challenged. Stereotypes are being bandered about freely.

Are we black?
No.

Are we Hispanic?
Again, no.

Are we homosexual?
Good guess! But no.

OK, lesbian?
Sorry, no.

Jewish?
Again, no.

Asian?
Hmmmm, No.

Irish?
Alright, we'll give you half a point for that, but keep guessing. That is not the correct answer.

A Wiccan?
Nope!

Atheist?
No.

OK, how about a Pagan homosexual of Jewish ancestry from Portugal?
Oh, don't be silly! NO!

How about alcoholic survivor of child abuse?
No...are you kidding?

The homeless?
Now somebody ought to slap you-No!

The morbidly obese?
Another half point, since fat folk are becoming one of the last bastions for mocking, but no.

A smoker?
Again, another very good guess! But don't get me sidetracked. For the purposes of this post the answer would be no.

A heterosexual?
Oh! Getting warmer! But no.

Give up?
It's real obvious if you think about it.
Put your Thinking Cap on,and imagine the Final Jeopardy music playing.....

And the answer is:

"What are Normal, Decent Human Beings?"!

Surprizing?
Not really. But I am growing weary of it. Ever since the Election (and during the entire campaign for that matter) the decent citizen in this country has been villianized and slurred as a gun toting, slack jawed, booger eating moron. I beg to differ. Although I live in the heart of hillbilly territory and have in the past known a few that could very easily fit that stereotype, for the most part my encounters with those who inhabit the real world are in stark contrast to this over played notion. I find my counterparts for the most part to be relatively intelligent, educated, full of common sense, friendly for the most part and humble as the dirt they stand upon.Sure, we have some snooty patooties, but that's just them...we get over it. Alot of them have also dealt with and overcame obstacles and tradegy that would send a card carrying Liberal into an endless series of support groups and rehab for the remainder of their days.They, on the other hand,only shrug and say something to the effect of : Shit happens. Tomarrow's another day.

If you really truly believed what the Dems have been saying about us you would think that we all inhabit some squalid little rural burg, a Mayberry run aground, where the mayor is Forrest Gump, those guys from "Deliverance" are all on the city council, Boo Radley drives the schoolbus and Karl Childers is our next door neighbor. Our suburban housing developments would consist of an endless string of 30 year old ranshackled mobile homes along some desolate state hiway, where we live out our days as ig'nert, alcoholic spouse beaters, on our 4th marriage, shotgun in hand, screaming at our multi-daddied kids to quit picking the paint off the Berlinetta, which is rusting away, on the ubiquitous cinder blocks, in our clay dirt front yard.

This is the stereotype that the Dems openly and publically said aloud and repeated freely...Oh! I forgot about the pick-up trucks! That was a key icon in their hatefilled spewings. I wonder if any of them ever pondered that SUV's are merely pick up trucks with a lid on the back? Oh, nevermind, I digress.

I think what really pisses them off about us is that most of us, for the most part, actually truly believe in an omnipotent God and that Jesus was for real! And if that is the case, then that means that one must abide by the rules of said same God. Not really a problem IF you are a decent human being to begin with. It's simple: Your actions have consequences. There's a right way to do things and then there's the wrong way.
But in the Dem/Lib mindset that just can't be! We're all victims of our mistakes and we will never be able to get over them without THEIR help! There is no right or wrong in their odd world. But yet there is hypocrisy- 'we love every deviant and criminal out there...except for law biding, God believing hillbillies! You all are a bunch of sick puppies, beyond salvation.'

In their minds, if you are a decent human then you must be some radical, snake shaking, tongue babbling, frothing at the mouth, scripture spewing, superstitous ig'nert Christian fundementalist-ripe for the skewering-because you're so damn stupid. Therefore, they can make fun of you...because, in their minds, you are not human.

I am a human...and no, I don't keep rattlesnakes in a box in the back yard. I personally believe speaking in tongues, as it is commonly referred to is wrong. I couldn't give you chapter and verse of anything in the bible, except for a few that were drilled into my noggin as a child. In short, I don't know why they feel they can say such hateful, dumb things and get away with it.
Maybe it's like the schoolyard bully, who picks on the weaker ones who reflect his own inadequacies. They feel guilty about having to love such filth that populates their party-so they pick on those who are the antithesis of that bunch. Makes 'em feel "superior".

If a prominent Dem was to publically stand up and make jokes about blacks, using the N word-the entire country would come unglued! But yet, the inhabitants of the heartland are openly mocked and stereotypes freely thrown about. I don't get it.
By standards that they themselves have set up I live an alternative lifestyle. It's enough to make a body want to call up the ACLU and file a discrimination suit!

Oh...wouldn't that be rich?

1 Comments:

Blogger Kathy said...

I'm a Heinz 57 of potential Jewish heritage with a questionable family history, a tendency toward a spare tire and a constant craving for a cigarette. You'd think the Dems would love me too but they don't. Could have something to do with the fact that I voted Reagan in the first election I've been eligible to vote in and have stayed the course for 21 years. Ya think?

12/14/2005 12:19 AM  

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