Friday, March 14, 2008

Local Sheriff's Report: Careful with that Ax, Eugene

As I have noted before, one of the forms of entertainment 'round here is reading the local Sheriff's report in the paper. Now most times it's kinda dull and blaise': 'woman reports neighbors cattle are in yard', 'caller reports harrassing phone calls to residence'- that sorta thing. But once in a while you get some stuff in there that really makes you wonder and it becomes a game to figure out what's really going on...and sometimes you wish you didn't, 'cause it starts to read like a story idea board for Stephen King.

Our latest melodrama takes place in the tiny near-by community of Bakersfield. I think I saw a movie like this once.---

March 3, 12:45 pm
Man reports woman running over someone with a car and says he's going to hit her with an ax. Bakersfield

March 5, 6:46 pm
Man threatening to shoot woman. Bakersfield (guess he couldn't find an ax.)

March 6, 2:50 pm
Man standing in road with ax. Bakersfield (Found it!!)

There have been no reports of any dismembered bodies being found in Bakersfield(...yet.) So maybe this call is related to all of the above:
March 7, 3:59 pm
Mentally ill person. Deputy Nick Jones responded.

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