Friday, December 16, 2005

It's a Miracle !

Well, Dish Network gave me my Christmas present early this year!

Ever since switching to them from DirecTV years ago (about 3 to be precise), we have had only 2 major choices for news- CNN and (gulp) MSNBC. I'd include CNBC in that but that's more financial than newsy news, but we get that too. Now with DirecTV's budget bottom level you got those AND Fox News-not so with Dish Network. And that annoyed me to no end. I hated having to depend on Wolf Blitzer-the hardest working man in the ministry of propaganda-to tell me what to think...or rather what I should feel, which was a worthless piece of crap in their minds. I missed my Shep, I missed O'Reilly and his indignity du jour. I missed the vibe of that network. 3 years of CNN and I was ready to put a bullet in my head ! (I wonder if anyone has indeed study the long term effects of extensive exposure to the Chicken Noodle Network on a persons' psyche? How does it effect their overall world view and general attitude? This could be one explanation for my lingering (although not impairing) depression for the past 3 years! )

If I had to endure one more minute of that over bloated, pompous sour ass Cafferty trying to be clever with his contractual straightman, Blitzer I swearda Gawd I was gonna lose it. And let's not even get started about Oberman on MSNBC. I hate people who think they're funny and clever and smartassy. Only one person on the tube can pull that off and that's Letterman. Actually, no. The difference is that Letterman doesn't THINK he is...he just is. There's a difference.

Anyhow, imagine my elation this evening when zinging through the 100 channels of nothing I saw that Fox News was no longer blocked!! There was my Shep-o, still looking every bit the human Ken doll that he is. ( Really- Take a good look at the guy- a perfect humanoid Mattel Ken, circa 1970! ) I was majorly freaking out. What had happened? Had I upgraded my account in my sleep? Didn't matter...I was stoked! No more 6 hour versions of the Situation Room, no more Blitzer and his perpetual hand wringing. Free at last! Free at last! Thank Gawd Almighty, We're free at last!
After regaining my composure, I finally figured it out.
Dish Network had yanked MSNBC from the budget level line up and gave us Fox instead. Woo Hoo! Take that in your smoke and pipe it, Oberman! I don't have to put up with your smarmy butt any more, either! Now that's fair and balanced in my humble opinion. Dish Network finally gets it.


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