Friday, November 09, 2007

A Friday Morning Freak-Out List: 3 Horribly Weird Ways to Die

Admit it, we all have a morbid fascination with freak accidents or strange manner of death. Afterall, death is inevitable. The best we all can hope for is to go in a way that doesn't require dental records for i.d.
Here's 3 stories that have popped up on the innernetubes within hours of each other. Ranked from tragically odd to downright "oh.my.friggin.gawd!"

SOUTHAMPTON, Va. — A Virginia man was found dead and buried under a large pile of peanuts in a warehouse at the Severn Peanut Company where he worked.

Calvin W. Branch's co-workers reported him missing around noon on Tuesday and two hours later authorities found him dead in a warehouse where the peanuts are funneled into loose piles and then later pumped out into trucks, according to a report in the Daily Press.

Southampton County Sheriff's Detective Richard Morris told the Daily Press there was no indication of foul play, but don't know how the 42-year-old ended up there.
(Foxnews)


NORTHVILLE TOWNSHIP, Mich. — The Detroit News and Free Press are reporting that a burned and beheaded body found by a utility crew is that of a convicted sex offender.

A single fingerprint from the victim's burned hand has allowed Michigan State Police to identify him as 26-year-old Daniel Gene-Vincent Sorensen.

The print reveals that Sorensen had been a registered sex offender in Illinois.

Northville Township sewer and water department crews found the body at the end of a cul-de-sac about 20 miles northwest of Detroit about 9:30 a.m. Thursday.

Sorensen's head has not been found.
Ok, that's pretty horrible and grim, but for me, here's the money line:
A cause of death has not been determined.
You gotta be kiddin' me!
Moral of the story: If you're a kid-diddler, stay out of Detroit!
(Foxnews)

And finally, the best for last. (well, alright maybe that's a poor turn of phrase!)
Let's just say that this one wins, hands down. This sounds like it's straight from a Tarantino flick.
Un-friggin'-believeable! The stuff of nitemares.
If you have a vivid imagination, please stop here...now. (don't say I didn't warn ya.)
From Peoria, IL. via The Journal-Star

PONTIAC - Livingston County authorities are investigating a gruesome and bizarre death today.

A bystander in a parking lot in the 1000 block of West Reynolds Street called 911 about 4:30 a.m. today to report a tow truck driving erratically across two parking lots before it hit a sign and continued across a road into a ditch.

When police arrived and inspected the vehicle, they found a decapitated body inside. They then found a human head in the parking lot where the caller first noticed the truck.

For more on this story, read Friday’s edition of the Journal Star.

Hey, what time does the Friday edition go online?? Because, dude, I really want to find out just how the hell that happened! This blurb just gives you enough info to totally creep you out for the rest of the day.

Gruesome Update: It was suicide???!!!!
Holy Crap! Now there's some sorta deep disturbed weirdness there.

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