Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Dead Bird Walking



The above felon has commited an heinous crime against the citizens of the Poultry Republic. To wit: at on or about 2:45 pm CST,on March 29th, 2006 said prisoner did menace and willfully strike out with malice and with intent to harm the Dowager Vicountess, loyal protector of the Republic and Guardian of the Magic Grain Bucket.
Such crimes against our noble lady will not be tolerated. The prisoner is hereby sentenced to death, by means of public execution at a time to be set by this court in the not so distant future. (Saturday sounds good!) There will be no appeals on the prisoner's behalf.
Biscuits and gravy to be served shortly afterwards.

9 Comments:

Blogger Lemuel Calhoon said...

Will the felon be fried or baked?

3/29/2006 5:01 PM  
Blogger sig94 said...

And if you don't execute this felon we know there'll be no egg on your face.

3/29/2006 6:28 PM  
Blogger Patrick Joubert Conlon said...

As you know I gave Cecil a reprieve. I've been nursing Bertie back to health after Cecil attacked him. Now the funny thing is I'm not sure I can return Bertie to his harem because those nasty hens have decided to kill him every time I try. They're vicious especially Goldie Hawn and Honey Moo. If they weren't such good layers, they'd be sitting in my frig by now. Meantime I've got a rooster in my spare room that crows at 5 am.

3/30/2006 10:42 AM  
Blogger white trash republican said...

Well,if he's crowing, he must be doing better! That's always my benchmark.
One of these days I'll write about the time I had a bigass rooster convalescing in my bathroom for a good chunk of the winter!
Thing is-probably only you n me wouldn't think it out of the ordinary!

I've been watching these excess roosters to decide which one would be the lucky s.o.b. to have all the hens. This guy just blew it big time coming after me,there weren't even any hens around. I could have excused it then, but he was just feeling his Wheaties and being aggressive. Can't have that in my yard! The last bird that pulled that crap on me met with the same fate.

3/30/2006 1:15 PM  
Blogger Kathy said...

If I didn't already have the biggest pansy rooster on the planet roaming my yard (and because he roams of course he's a pet as Lewis Grizzard once explained), I'd take him! It would be nice to have a man chicken around here who'd do more than half his job.

Also, I've discovered my bathroom sink is just the right size and shape for a snoozing rooster. As is my coffee pot.

3/30/2006 1:31 PM  
Blogger white trash republican said...

You must have a hell of a big coffee pot.
: )

3/30/2006 1:41 PM  
Blogger Patrick Joubert Conlon said...

LOL. Or it's a bantam like Bertie who is currently living in a hamster cage I borrowed from my teenage neighbor.

I'm wondering if Bertie's heart is broken because his two favorite wives turned on him.

What kind of rooster is the felon? My agressive rooster is a Rhody which are vicious.

I think we should have a chicken blogburst one day for all us chicken nuts.

3/30/2006 5:58 PM  
Blogger white trash republican said...

A hamster cage?! How humiliating!
Oh well, any port in the storm,eh? I think they can suffer some emotions, like sadness, based on my experience. They just get over it quick,seeing how their brains ain't much bigger than a black eye pea.

I wanna say this 'jailbird' is a barred rock, but he's alot darker than the usual, the gray is real dark and the 'bars' are more a greenish black than a flat black. Might be a variant. He's not a Dominicker, cuz he doesn't have a rose comb. Damn shame, he is a striking lookin' feller.
I like the blogburst idea! I'm in!

3/30/2006 6:48 PM  
Blogger Patrick Joubert Conlon said...

He must be a Mutant Ninja Barred Rock coz aren't they mostly fairly tame?

3/31/2006 10:14 AM  

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