Tuesday, April 11, 2006

The Local Police Blotter

Unless there's some major big story on the front page, or a chance that my younguns picture might be in the School page, the first place I turn to in our local weekly is the Sheriff's Report where the daily calls are published.
Most times it's painfully dull. Cows loose on the road, neighbors dog barking, etc. But there are times when it's either rather funny or a little creepy, since, just like Sgt. Joe Friday, they give just the facts and are often just vague enough to make you wonder.
So, without further adeiu, here's some items of note from the lastest edition:

Mar. 27th, 2 pm --- Report of a lost cell phone.
(what did they want the deputy to do? Come and help 'em look for it?)

Mar. 28th, 7:06 pm -- Suspicious Incident (always a good catch-all phrase. It then goes on to list all the deputies and the sheriff, officers "from other departments" and finally the local ambulance service- Holy Cow! Wonder what that was all about?!)

Mar. 30th, 12:07 am -- Female caller reported she had married a man and discovered he was still married to someone else.
( being so close to the Arkansas stateline, one can't help but wonder if the "someone else" was the guys half sister. Also note the timestamp...can you say 'weepy drunk'?- "Ah wancha ta come down chere an' arress him, Ossifer! *sob-sniff-snivel* He dun LIED ta me!")

Mar. 31st, 10:18 pm --Suspicious vehicle. Truck with parking lights on only, someone walking around truck with a flashlight, someone screaming. Deputies responded. One person arrested on warrant.
(Ooooh, now that one had the potential to be a future movie of the week. But on the other hand it could have been some dumb SOB broke down and his ol' lady chewing him out from the passenger side.)


Blogger Patrick Joubert Conlon said...

Oh, the dangers of living a rural life....weepy drunk! LOL

4/11/2006 10:42 AM  
Blogger Kathy said...

I vote for dumb SOB. I've been on both sides of that equation!

4/11/2006 12:50 PM  
Blogger Cookie..... said...

Man...I think after wurkin in Syracuse NY PD fer twenty or so years...I woulda liked wurkin there...nice n peacefull. I remember one call where the guy came home early and found his wife a cheat'n on him...with another woman...HER MOTHER!! Swear t'God! Gave a whole new mean'n t'the wurd Mother-F*#ker.....Cookie

4/11/2006 3:50 PM  
Blogger white trash republican said...

Cookie, if I'd knowed any better, I'd say you was pulling our leg on that one.
But then again... : )

Yep, it's nice and quiet here for the most part- the usual drunken 'domestic disturbance' calls on Saturday night, loose dogs, maybe a sloppily done and easily solved burgulary now and then. It'll be picking up here shortly, it's getting on to Pot Plant season now and they'll be busting the id'jets that have a patch or 2 growing on the back 40.

4/12/2006 8:24 AM  
Blogger Cookie..... said...

Nope....Gods honest truth...just like the guy who was so lonely he decided to make love to one a those "Mini-Vacuums"...just use your imagination on that one...never seen so much blood in one spot before.....I got a ton more stories...thats a fact. Sig94 and myself worked for the same Department and he can probably back me up on some of em....that is if'n y'all might have a mind t'be thinkin I'm pullin yur leg missie....Cookie

4/12/2006 12:58 PM  
Blogger white trash republican said...

Now I don't doubt the dustbuster thing a bit. I've heard of things like that happening before...and worse.
No, Cookie, I know you're on the up n up on that! No need to verify. I just couldn't resist. I'm under the impression that you can be abit of a joker-which is a good thing! Hell I do it all the time,too.

4/12/2006 1:43 PM  
Blogger Cookie..... said...

Hell....I knows yur a bit of a joker...seen it in yur posts...thats why I'm a like'n ya so much.....Cookie

4/12/2006 2:08 PM  

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