Tuesday, December 05, 2006

"Farts on a Plane!"

This adds a whole new dimension to the phrase "Dirty Bomb".







Flatulence, not Turbulence, Forces Plane to Land
(Passenger lighted matches to hide odor)

By SAMUEL SHU

"Flatulence brought 99 passengers on an American Airlines flight to an unscheduled visit to Nashville early Monday morning.

American Flight 1053, from Washington Reagan National Airport and bound for Dallas/Fort Worth, made an emergency landing here after passengers reported smelling struck matches, said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority.

The plane landed safely. The FBI, Transportation Safety Administration and airport authority responded to the emergency, Lowrance said.

The passengers and five crew members were brought off the plane, together with all the luggage, to go through security checks again. Bomb-sniffing dogs found spent matches.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal body odor, Lowrance said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane.

"American has banned her for a long time," Lowrance said.

She was not charged but could have been. While it is legal to bring as many as four books of paper safety matches onto an aircraft, it is illegal to strike a match in an airplane, Lowrance said."

From The Tennesseean

As a woman, I have to say that this rates right up there as THE most embarressing life event you could suffer.

You guys out there, on the other hand, would be down at the bar tonite bragging about it, if it happened to you!

And therein is yet another critical difference 'tween the sexes.


So, she has a "medical condition" and she did what she did to try and avoid grossing out the other passengers and for this the airlines ban her from future flights?
I SMELL LAWSUIT!
But, in the best interests of all parties involved it might be best to just let this whole smelly affair fade.
Put it behind them, so to speak.

May I recommend this site for her?

5 Comments:

Blogger BB-Idaho said...

Ah Ha! Methane and matches!...and here I thought shoebombs were sneaky. :)

12/05/2006 4:55 PM  
Blogger Pamela said...

She had a weak brain and a weak sphincter.

12/06/2006 9:47 AM  
Blogger Cookie..... said...

LOLOLOLOL...at least she was "fart-smart" by bringin the matches...and yupper...damn straight I'd be braggin bout that at the bar with the boys...even though it would mean alot a time on buses....Cookie

12/06/2006 11:10 AM  
Blogger white trash republican said...

"Fart Smart"! I'll have to remember that one!
Y'know, the only way they could have made this any worse was to bring out a HazMat team and a De-con crew!

(Had the stinker in question been male THAT would have garnered them braggin' rights for LIFE!)
; )

12/06/2006 4:17 PM  
Anonymous Kathy said...

The link you directed us to has a product called "Thong D" for "women who wear thong underwear and have flatulence issues." I suspect I'll have nightmares tonight...

12/07/2006 8:25 AM  

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