Sunday, July 30, 2006

"Your Money, Squibbling Snotrag"

This summer I've noticed quite an uptick in the amount of spam my spam filter has been catching. I used to be one of the blessed ones who just would get maybe 2 or 3 unsolicited adverts a week. I even began to feel left out because I never got the seemingly universal and unrelenting exhortations for "herbal" Viagra or potions guaranteed to increase a certain body member that I lack due to just a 50/50 slip of a chromasome-something I don't think that stuff will fix. Jeez, was I the only person online who never got those? I felt like I was missing something, getting left behind in a cultural experience. I did and still do get the classic weasel-grams from Nigeria, but even those have taken a dip lately.

But what has happened lately is that I'm getting bombarded by curious emails that have an equally curious and bizarre subject lines. They all follow the same pattern, so I assume they are generated by some sort of software. They go immediately to the trash heap after I've had a chuckle over the subject line.
"Your money, fuzzy jellyroll"
"your order, pokey bumblebee"
"hello, oystershell bark louse"
"your $, mingle mangle"
"Hi, carbonated blue doughnut"
"as requested, sophoric moose flea"

...And on it goes. I have no idea what is going on here, but these titles are so surreal, I actually look forward to checking the spam filter now!
My personal favorite so far has been "oystershell bark louse" My God, that almost sounds like a Zappa tune!

I know this is probably a stupid question, but is anyone else getting these damn things? What was your oddest subject line with these?


Blogger Lemuel Calhoon said...

I get some stuff like that. They are computer generated by software that was not programed in English.

7/30/2006 11:16 PM  
Blogger white trash republican said...

Jeez, it seems that's all in my spam catcher nowadays. Out of the 20 or so pieces of useless crap I get a day now, I'd say about 12 to 15 of them are these nonsensical types.
God must know that I am easily entertained...

7/30/2006 11:33 PM  
Anonymous John Climacus said...

Well goh-ohh-ohlee, WTR, thing MUST be different for you all out in the boonies - 2 or 3 unsolicited adverts a week?

You were a lucky gal. It's been years since I could regard my spam as anything but huge daily mountains of obscene nonsense I had to attack with a flamethrower rather than a plinker.

*I get a lot of this variety -

Regarding 4.0% Quote for Friend

*and quite a bit of this -

Re: gywyxVIAjAGRA

*and an unsettling amount of this -

Unauthorized Access:NA (Routing Code: C840-L001-Q-T-S111) (KMQM72498486V38646L0KM)

*and no small amount of the inscrutable -

Robert travel Time I guess

*with much of the mystical -


*along with the ones I know not what to do with -

Thermogenesis is a term referring to the body's production of heat. Heat production is a normal part of the metabolic process.

*and the ones that for some reason just PISS ME OFF -

potato laundry room

*finally those that touch me deep down inside, as they would anyone -

©Ê·R¤â¾÷¹ê¿ý...¬õ¹M¥þ¥xÆW (¥D¨¤¬Oª¾¦W¤j¾Çº}«G¤k¥Í)

*Needless to say, I'm leaving out all the adult-themed items, which are a story unto themselves. Excepting the fact they all seem intent on making very presumptuous inferences.

7/30/2006 11:58 PM  
Blogger white trash republican said...

'potato laundry room"
Now you're speaking my language!

Oh, I get my share of the naughty stuff, but my settings are so high I rarely get them. But a few eyebuggers sneak under the radar.
We're finally catching up with the rest of the world with the junk mail. The 2 or 3 a day was the rate about 2 years ago, it has been steadily increasing. Soon I will be able to share your joy at miserable masses of crap, my little sparkling mascara.
; )

7/31/2006 12:07 AM  
Blogger Patrick Joubert Conlon said...

My spam is so tame compared with those. Maybe it's because I'm not a Zappa (or OINGO BOINGO) fan. :)

7/31/2006 12:19 AM  
Blogger Lemuel Calhoon said...

I'm starting to get a large number of emails in either Japanese or Chinese, no English whatsoever.

This happens just when the ones in Russian are tapering off.

But my favorites continue to be the notifications of where the best rape/incest sites on the web are.

7/31/2006 8:32 AM  
Anonymous John Climacus said...

Yeah, boatloads of oriental stuff for some reason. You'd think they'd know to use regular letters, for cryin out loud.

7/31/2006 5:34 PM  
Blogger white trash republican said...

Stay off them jap porn sites, boys, and y'all won't get weird asian crap like that!
; )

8/01/2006 1:01 AM  
Blogger jarhead john said...

I live in Japan, so it's a given that I'm gonna get that crap. Most of it turns into the "special characters" anyway.

8/02/2006 10:58 PM  

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