Thursday, January 03, 2008

The Snowball List: Candidate Caroline Killeen

"Caroline Killeen is not your typical candidate. She will be 82 years old in January. She earned food and a place to sleep in exchange for doing garden work at the youth hostel in Assisi, Italy, her home for the past year. She has no family, no telephone and no permanent place to live. But today, based out of room 203 at the Holiday Inn of Concord, NH, she is starting her campaign to become the next president of the United States."

So begins her web profile.
Her campaign managers live in Australia, she lives in Italy (but maintains an American citizenship) so could you say this is the very first "global" presidential campaign? The Catholic Caritas in Assisi is ponying up the dough for her to travel to the States.

When I saw her on the CSPAN forum she seemed genuinely disinterested in the proceedings and seemed to have trouble staying focused. While another candidate was answering a question she would absently glance under their table they were all seated at as if trying to check to see if she remembered to wear shoes. She asked frequently for the moderator to repeat his question when it was her turn and then would always veer off the topic with her answer. But she did brighten up and became quite animated when talking about her own greatist personal achievement: riding a bicycle from Pennsylvania to Florida in the '60's. That alone, she felt, qualified her for the office, I guess. (she pronounced it "buy-cycle")

More from the bio webpage: (which is based heavily on her accordingly personal biography, accordingly...heh.)

Born in 1926, Killeen grew up in an adopted family and at the age of eight realized she was gay, according to her personal biography written by Killeen, Scaysbrook and Seath.

After being expelled from a two different monasteries for stalking pure nuns and insubordination, Killeen applied for a job picking cotton in New Mexico, according to her personal biography.

Having been influenced greatly by John F. Kennedy’s physical fitness plan, Killeen rode her bicycle from Scranton, Pa. to Florida in 1964 which started a 30-year nomadic voyage along the highways of America, according to Killeen’s personal biography.

As you might have guessed, she has filed as a Democrat.

Ah, but what is her platform?
Go Solar, baby!

The first step in ending global warming and returning to nature begins with the use of “solar dryers” or clothes lines, Killeen says. Avoiding the electric dryer not only saves energy but it also saves money, according to Killeen’s campaign manifesto.

“We have the technology to overcome CO2 emissions but it’s the technology we’ve created that has brought us to this,” Killeen says. “You won’t solve global warming with more technology. You have to go back to nature which will offset all the technology.”

Killeen is organizing a press conference in which she will display her own solar dryer with a large sheet hanging and the words “my fault” written in Italian across it, she says. Everyone using a solar dryer should include a personal message, Killeen says.

Hey! I have a clothesline/solar dryer! My personal message would say: "Nuts!"

There's just so much moonbatty goodness with this gal, we have but barely scraped the surface.


Blogger Fish-2 said...

I seriously doubt she will steal any appreciable votes from the other Democrats, though she makes more sense than some of them. But then who doesn't.

1/03/2008 10:26 AM  

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