Saturday, March 11, 2006

My Kinda Gal!


My knowledge of ancient British history is weak, other than the place was over run by the Romans and there were Druids. Any more than that and I draw a blank. But that don't mean I don't enjoy learning about it.
Last night the History channel had an entertaining 2 hour program on: "Warrior Queen Boudica"
Boy Howdy, how can ya go wrong with a title like that? Sounds like must-see TV to me!

We learn that Boudica's ol' man was king of the Iceni, a tribe that had the territory to the east on the British Isle. When all the other tribal lands were being captured, plundered and put under Roman rule, the king of the Icenis had a "gentleman's agreement" with the Roman emperor. They co-existed unmolested. That all came to a screeching halt when he suddenly croaked one day and some piddly bureaucrat in the then Roman settlement of Londinium (now London) got wind of it and declared all bets were off-the Iceni territory was theirs for the sacking. He dispatched some Roman soldiers to take care of biz.
Meanwhile, Boudica's hanging tough-she's now the leader of the tribe, she misses her ol' man, but she has a community to rule and 2 young daughters to raise. She thinks the agreement her hubby brokered will hold.
Enter the Romans.
They proceed to go medieval on the Icenis, which is a rather anachronistic phrase to use, considering this takes place in about 60 AD, but you get my drift.
They take Boudica and beat her and publicly flog her then haul off her daughters to do God nose what horrors to them. All manner of general mayhem goes on as the Romans help themselves to the tribe and basically tell Queen Boudica "We don't need no steenkin' badges!"
They leave the place in ruins.
Queenie is seriously pissed now, Eddie. These Roman dogs have raped her kids, flogged her and taken some of her people captive as slaves. This was not how it was suppose to be. Any woman can understand her complete raging anger and desire for revenge and justice.

She hooks up with a neighboring tribe who are suffering the same kind of oppression. An alliance is struck-We ain't gonna stand for this crap! Forces are assembled, Boudica's put in charge.
Pretty soon a mass of all manner of pissed-off peasantry is gathered. Anyone stout enough to swing a sword is encouraged to join. Women, kids, teens, men, farmers ,warriors, the odd Celt here and there. Soon their numbers swell to something like 30,000!
They march on a nearby Roman settlement and take it completely by surprize and burn the mutha to the ground, taking out almost all the citizens and plundering the goods. The Romans are wigged out, but due to them spending too much manpower wiping out the Druids over on the other side of the isle, they have been caught with their pants down and not enough legions to take care of the sitch. So they're scrambling. Meanwhile Boudica and her army, which have now grown to possibly almost 50,000 strong, are planning to wipe out another settlement. Her boys ambushed and wiped out an entire legion who were sent to get a handle on the crisis. Atta girl!

Anyway, they take Londinium, which has been abandoned by the Roman forces who knew they would be seriously outnumbered (nice going guys) and go apocalyptic on it. The destruction there is ledgendary (that is, if you are a Brit) By now our girl has got quite a following.

Alas, it was not a happy ending. Eventually the Romans got the upper hand-even though they were seriously outnumbered by Boudica's army, her failing as a strategist got the better of her and her people. Damn. She did survive the final battle, but it is speculated that, mortified by the defeat and slaughter, she took her own life with poison.

Oh and the idiot quill pusher that set all this in motion? The chickenhead fled across the channel to France (then Gaul) because he (rightfully) feared that Boudica was gunning for him.
Some things never change!

Here's what Wiki has to say about my new hero. Not as entertaining as the program, though.

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