Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Heh!

If Zucker keeps this up, gosh, he might start to get a bad reputation or something.
The Iraq Study Group.

Social Experimentation in Virginia

(Well now, isn't this special?
What's that old story about how to boil a frog? I suspect this cute little stunt will be picked up by other "interfaith centers" nationwide, soon.)

Mysterious Arabic Signs Aimed at Dispelling Fear of Muslims



RICHMOND — The small beige signs bearing black Arabic script have been appearing all over town on buses and at colleges.

Are they secret messages from terrorists, one panicked bus rider asked? Should the FBI be contacted? What do they mean?

Actual translation: “Paper or plastic?”

The signs are part of a campaign by A More Perfect Union, a program of the Virginia Interfaith Center, and are aimed at dispelling some of the public’s fears toward the Muslim community. Organizers hope to eventually expand the program statewide.

“As people see Arabic, they immediately make an association with terrorism,” said the Rev. C. Douglas Smith, executive director of the Virginia Interfaith Center. “That’s probably because since 9/11, not only is fear overwhelming us, but that’s how we’re being trained to think.” (WTR: Yeah...almost 3,000 innocent civilians MURDERED on our own soil in one day will kinda do that to you.)

The signs were placed in all 170 Greater Richmond Transit Company buses in Richmond on Nov. 27 and will remain there through the end of December, though many buses will continue to display them at least through the end of January. The signs, designed by The Martin Agency, have also been posted at the University of Richmond and Virginia Commonwealth University. Along with the “paper or plastic” sign, there are two others — one of which is the Arabic version of the “I’m a little tea pot” rhyme and the other roughly translating to the English equivalent of “rock, paper, scissors.” Accompanying the translations at the bottom of the posters are comments such as, “Misunderstanding can make anything scary,” and “What did you think it said?”

The transit company has already fielded several calls from concerned riders, said Gretchen Schoel, executive director of A More Perfect Union. One woman Schoel described as a well-educated university employee placed a frantic call to the bus company’s manager, suggesting the FBI be called in to investigate. Even after the signs’ English translations were explained to her, she remained concerned that they might contain secret messages, Schoel said.

“It’s so great that we’re getting feedback, even if it is negative, because it shows that people are looking, they’re thinking,” Schoel said. “And it really proves the point that this script right here conjures up certain ideas in our heads that we have to work with.”

Bias toward the Muslim community is a continuing problem across the country and in Virginia, said Imad Damaj, president of the Virginia Muslim Coalition for Public Affairs.

“There’s so many lazy, unexamined assumptions about all of us and how we react to people,” Damaj said. “We need to challenge ourselves.”

Schoel said history has proven that Americans can learn to let go of irrational fears toward other cultures. “After World War II, when people saw Japanese script it was scary,” she said. “But now we see it and it’s fun, it’s hip, it signifies a cool culture.”
“That’s a huge turnaround.”
Source:International Herald Tribune

Oh, yes, that is so right and correct...we really shouldn't fear Arabic script...especially when they are getting so good at writing in English!
See?...


This *CINO (*Christian in Name Only) outfit that's plastering these signs about Virginia are, at the very least in my mind, behaving criminally, if only in a negligent way, call it "aiding and abetting"-because the whole point is to "de-sensitize" us who use English as our first language to seeing Arabic script, out of context from say, the MidEast neighborhoods in the area, so that we won't be suspicious or alarmed when those clever little signs become spray painted graffiti reading Death to America, Kill the Great Satan, Behead All Infidels, ad nauseum...'Oh, that's just a dumb little nursery rhyme! I saw it in the news...'
But what do I know?
The only solace I can take is that this was from an AP wire...and we know just how reliable they are! But alas, I did visit their little social experiment site and it is true. Schoel is missing one key point in her last remark: The Japanese are our allies, now. AFTER we nuked them, occupied them and removed their ability to KILL us!

Idiots.
OK, so let's all join hands around the world and croon out a verse or 2 of "Kumbayah"...in Arabic...second verse in Farsi, if you are so inclined.


Hey! I gotta sign for ya!!

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Sunday Funnies, Compliments of Wuzzadem


Wuzzadem takes a jab at the AP's credibility. Purty dang funny, if I do say so myself.
If you haven't been over there in awhile, go take a leisure Sunday walk on over and check out the past week or so of posts-they've been knocking quite a few out of the park lately.

And we're all over due for a good laugh or 3.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Tenn. Gov./Artist a Plagerist?


Tennesee Governor Bredesen is getting some flack for the official state Christmas card. It features a painting he did of an Afghan girl and the sentiments it expresses have got some up in arms. Some feel it expresses pro-muslim feelings. Now the Gov. using paintings he has done in the past on the state Christmas card is nothing new, he does this all the time, painting is a hobby of his. But what got me about the article was the image, especially after reading that he based it on "a young woman he met when he toured Afghanistan in March."
That's when the red flag went up. "That's THE chick on the cover!" I thought to myself. National Geographic had a cover photo about 20 years ago with darn near the same image. We had a subscription at the time and that was one of the ones I saved, because I was so struck by the girl's eyes. It's a famous photo...if you are a fan of National Geographic, anyway.
I'd be willing to just blow it off, artists do this all the time, using photos as "inspiration"...but to say it's of an actual girl YOU met. Well, that's really pushing it, I'm afraid.
You decide.

Here's the National Geographic cover:


















And a side by side comparison where I have reversed the N.G. cover shot:






What do you think?
True, there are just barely enough differences to say it is an original piece of work. But I really doubt that it is of a person the good Governor actually met.

Yeti vs. Penguin

A stupid little timewaster of a game.
A Yeti uses penguins for batting practice.
Click on the yeti to start the game and click on him again to swing.

WTR disclaimer:The staff of White Trash Republican in no way approves or advocates using live penguins in the manner portrayed in this game. We think knocking real penguins "out of the park" is sick and wrong and akin to seal bashing. These are CGI penguins. No real penguins were harmed in the creation of this game.

Our personal best was a 324.5 and when the penguin lands head first in the snow-it's funny, dammit!

Friday, December 15, 2006

"Season's Greetings"

(Time to drag this chestnut out again-an oldie, but a goodie.)


TO MY LIBERAL FRIENDS:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.



TO MY CONSERVATIVE FRIENDS:

HAPPY CHANUKKAH & MERRY CHRISTMAS!
AND A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Transfiguration

I've noticed lately that TTLB rating for this blog keeps vascillating between Marsupial and Large Mammal at an alarming rate-sometimes several times a day.
I wish it would stop...it's making my boobs hurt.
One or the other, guys...please! I still have some Christmas shopping to finish up!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

"The Carol Cops Are Coming To Town"


Un. Friggin'. Real!!!
Color me Gobsmacked! Did any of these ninnies ask Ms. Cohen first?

A "Silent Night" As Carolers Told to Stop Singing at Skating Show


RIVERSIDE, Calif. (AP) -- A high school choir was asked to stop singing Christmas carols during an ice skating show featuring Olympic medalist Sasha Cohen out of concern the skater would be offended because she's Jewish.

A city staff member, accompanied by a police officer, approached the Rubidoux High School Madrigals at the Riverside Outdoor Ice Skating Rink just as they launched into "God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman" and requested that the troupe stop singing, the Riverside Press-Enterprise reported Thursday.


The jawdroppin' rest, here.

HT: The Lovely Michelle

Ok...now I'm inspired:

You better watch out, you better not sing
You gotta be wary of every lil' thing
The Carol Cops are coming to town

They gotta long list, best heed their advice
It's full of words they percieve as not nice
The Carol Cops are coming to town

Even though it is Christmas, and hymns of Christ abound
You better not be singing them in public or outloud!

Oh...you better watch out, you better not sing
You gotta be careful of every lil' thing
The Carol Cops are coming to town!

The Mother of All Snipe Hunts!


Eason Jordan writes on his new blog that he wants to find Jamil Hussein.
(Y'know, the reliable insider source that the AP just can't seem to prove he exists and yet stands by what he reports to them?)
And get this, he has invited the Lovely Michelle to go to Iraq on his dime to do it!
This from his blog, Iraqslogger:

So the search for Jamil Hussein is on, and rightly so. IraqSlogger's team in Baghdad is working to track him down. If we find him, we'll get back to you with details. If we can't find him, we'll report that, too. If Michelle Malkin wants to join the search in Baghdad, IraqSlogger will pay for her trip, and I'd even be willing to accompany her. Stay tuned.

Michelle has accepted his offer!
Let's see if his money's where his mouth is.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

It Wasn't On My List, Santa...But I'll Take It!!








Shades of Generalisimo Franco- rumors are flying once again that Castro's number has finally been called out in Hell's waiting room. The Lovely Michelle has all the linkys.

If you saw some of the video that had been shown the other week during his belated birthday celebrations (of which he was noticibly a no-show) that were alledgedly 'recent' tape of him slowly chugging along some annoymous hospital-like hallway in his bionic Adidas tracksuit, only one thing could come to mind: "Dead dictator walking!"
If you've ever been present when a friend or family member is subcumbing to the effects of cancer, you know that 'look'-weird skin tone (almost orange), sunken, wild staring eyes, overall weakened and crappy state, going in slo-mo.
I've seen that look....Castro's a goner...if he ain't already.

...and it ain't a purty end, at all.

UPDATE: While we wait for comfirmation...if any...here's something to wile away the time.

UPDATE, deux: Looks like we'll just have to wait while his brother rearranges the deck chairs and gets all the political ducks in a row before we get "official" word.
Sooner or later this will be true. Be prepared for much wailing, gnashing of teeth, rending of sackcloth and sitting in ashes by the MSM.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

"All Your Bsae Are Belong to Us"

Cindy and her galpal, Medusa, (or is it Medena? Media? Meridian? MoJo?) spent the Thanksgiving holiday in South Korea protesting something...kinda hard to tell when you outsource your protest signs!






HT: Free Republic and doublechecked (which the Treasonist Tagteam didn't bother to do with their props.) via One Free Korea.

My Korean is weak but I think that sign in the background says something about 'loving you a long time!'

Monday, December 11, 2006

WTR's Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I've really, really tried to be good this year. I'm sure that the 2 or 4 times that I went off on the kids this year can be excused as severe stress. Besides, they had pushed me as far as I could take it. But you know all about that-I'm sure you have adjusted their gift list accordingly. I, myself, am wishing them nothing but coal after that row in the car a couple of months back that forced me to pull over the car and insist that they both get out and walk home if they were going to behave like that! It about put the car in a ditch!
But I digress-
Anyway, Santy Claus, my Christmas wish this year is purely selfish, but necessary. I don't want money (although it can't hurt!) a laptop is pointless, as is an MP3 player and world peace is sooo cliche'.

What I really want Santa are only 2 things:
Steve Watson and Ty Pennington.

Between the two of them and myself we should be able to get this dump of a house whipped into shape in no time! Probably less than a week!
I don't need the RV full of emotionally overwrought metrosexuals that seem to follow Ty whereever he goes, so don't worry about them, I just need Ty and his toolbelt. I ain't wanting my house to make Better Homes and Gardens with fruity decor and this seasons "colors"...I just want the damn lights to work and the roof not to leak. I'm overwhelmed, Santy-I need some guys here, pronto! I'll even spring for the beer.

I'm sure you can pull this off Santy, just so's there's no mistake I've included pictures of them. Please don't dump Bob Villa or that butchy fruit, Eric Stromer on my doorstep-I want these guys!




If Ty can't make it cuz he's got too big for his baggy drawers and is too busy, I'd settle for Steve, he's more my kinda guy, anyway.





P. S.-Some new flannel 'jammies would be nice, too.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Let Go of My Lego

A few pics of the big event yesterday.

My youngest's team got a medal for their presentation, but didn't garner any other trophies for it. However, at the final awards ceremony they did get the trophy for "Best Design" for their robotics! That was the next to last trophy to be awarded and youngest was in a sulk thinking that they wouldn't get anything since the awards were almost done. So she was caught completely off guard, but whooped and hollered the loudest as the team ran onto the floor to receive their trophy. Caught me off guard, too-I didn't even get a pic of it!
The tournament was held in a high school gym and was quite a production. Even had a big screen projecting the scores and view of the tabletops where the robots were going through their paces. There was music, light effects...jeez, you'd think it was the NBA the way everyone carried on, but it was a fabulous time for her and she's looking forward to next years tournament.

The main tournament tables
Another view, showing the big screen thingy. The yellow skirted table held all the trophies...all made from Legos!
Wow, that sure ain't a Crown Vic! They do things differently in the big city, I reckon.

My younguns posing at the Navy jet that is at the entrance of the school. Have no idea what kind it is, or why it's there. (There are no military bases any where near that city.) The only tie-in I could imagine is that the schools team is called The Bombers. But that's a pretty extreme way to show off school spirit!

The champion team this year was a group of homeschoolers or maybe they were church schooled. We never did find out which. But I'm leaning towards homeschooled. They all just had a certain focused manner and mature comportment about them that was so different than the gaggles of other public school kids there.


In keeping with the "New Direction" that our country is being forced into, next year's challenge will have to do with enviromental issues and renewable resources.
Gee, what a coinsidence! Boy I sure didn't see that one coming! (ok, I'm done being sarcastic.)
Any how, we brainstormed all the way home about how to approach that one. I don't know if it's allowed in the rules, but I said what would really be cool would be to have the power supply of their robot be solar or maybe run off a potato-like those dopey potato clocks you see in novelty stores. Anyway, it's a start. I'm sure it could be done if you had a brainy enough kid on the team and jeez, that would really get ya brownie points, I bet.

Friday, December 08, 2006

I R Smarticus wiff Werd Stuff!

Your Language Arts Grade: 98%

Way to go! You know not to trust the MS Grammar Check and you know "no" from "know." Now, go forth and spread the good word (or at least, the proper use of apostrophes).

Are You Gooder at Grammar?
Make a Quiz




Patrick will get an easy 100%.

Gettin' Her 'Geek' On


Tomarrow we have to be at the school bright and early so that my youngest can join her team for the ride down to Arkansas for the state Lego League Tournament. This is her first year as a Lego League team member. I admit, I'm pretty clueless about all this except that it is an elite squad-students are nominated by their teachers-and one has to be an exceptional student to get on the team. So I reckon I should be proud that she's seems to be geeky enough to make the cut. Who knew?

All this week they've been meeting afterschool to work on their little robotic gizmos and their presentation. Getting everything fine tuned and working the bugs out. Normally, it's a once a week meeting, but it's crunchtime now. There are a series of 'challenges' that the robotic Legodroids must perform. My youngest's part in all this has been primarily the presentation part, although she has been helping out with figuring out the robotics and coming up with suggestions when the thingies just ain't doing what they are suppose to do. Again, who knew?

I went to the site to check out just what in the world this was all about and was pretty surprized. This years theme is Nanotechnology.
Here's in part what they have to do:
"Project Selection: Explore a current or potential application of nanotechnology, either from the Nano Quest robot missions or from another source. Learn what scientists are facing in improving upon the existing application or making the potential application a reality. Design an improvement for the existing nanotechnology, or choose a potential application that faces a challenge and solve it."

Holy Crap! That's asking alot of a bunch of 10 and 11 year olds! But I know she has been working like a fiend these past few weeks on their paper. And I think she has the main job of presenting their findings.
All the teachers that are supervising the team has told me this is a must attend event-a lot of excitement, hoopla and fun. So, hey- I gotta go right?

And this is news?

Why am I not surprized?


Blantantly pinched from the Jawa Report

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Imagine THIS running in any publication today

What a Difference 65 Years Makes



No need to rehash the time and date...we all know it-or should. But what I find myself thinking about today is how vastly different we, as a country, are now.
65 years can be a lifetime or just a drop in the bucket, depending on what you are comparing. 65 years ago we didn't hesistate to do what HAD to be done, and the world was better for it, at least temporarily.
What the hell has happened to us?

I've known some Pearl Harbor vets. And even into their 70's and 80's they were hesistant to speak of that day. They could tell you of youthful, silly pranks and wild stuff that happened during shore leave during that time leading up to it, but the actually attack? One old feller I once knew would only say "I lost alot of good friends that day." and then he glanced away, his old man's eyes welling up. We just left it at that. His memories too sorrowful to speak of any further and the likes of which I can never imagine.
Back then political correctness was unheard of. We weren't hamstrung by it and all the second guessing and pussyfooting it causes. We went out, kicked ass, and did what had to be done. End of story.

September 11th, 2001 was immediately labeled "the Pearl Harbor of our time". OK, I'll buy that...it was, but the reaction has been soooo different.
At Pearl, a lot of good men in service to their country died. That was always part of the bargain when you signed on the line and took the oath. That maybe you could be killed or be forever maimed. They knew this.

The folks at the World Trade Towers were civilians. They had no reason to think that that day would be their last. And we lost more people that day than at Pearl. And most of us saw it unfurl, in real time, on our t.v.'s. Unedited, unfiltered.
And yet...that wasn't enough it would seem.
We're the bad guys.
We're the facists.
We're the nazis.
We're the "haters". (how friggin' grade school is THAT label?)
What the screaming blue bloody hell has happened to us??!

Political correctness has castrated us to the point of death.

I can't dare to think what it will take to rally us for the long haul, as one nation as we did back in 1941, if 9/11 couldn't.

Misha has put in his two cents-as I knew he would- on the anniversary, in his usual no holds barred style.

It's Got a Great Beat and You Can Dance to It; I Give It a 9, Dick

Musical conservative wunderkinds, The Right Brothers, have just released their new CD "No Apologies".
This should be a big seller for them simply for one song on the disc, a snappy little number that I was mentally pogo-ing to last night:
"I'm in Love With Ann Coulter"
(and what red blooded American male isn't? I can see this quickly becoming Lemuel, Grand Poobah of the Hillbilly Ecosystem's new theme song. Oh, by the way, I hope you got a card in the mail, dude-Friday's her birthday!)

These guys were on the air in Springfield yesterday promoting the CD on a local conservative talk radio station. Reception blows for that station down here, so I'm downloading the pod of that segment. (I should be able to listen to it, oh, probably by Friday-I'm a dial-up troglodyte.) For those of you who are currently in the 21st century, here's the link for the podcast-scroll down to Dec. 5th, 8:30 for the segment.

From the samples I've heard so far it's a worthy effort and way more fun than that Nickleback dreck that gets heavy exposure around here. Another gem is "Shut Up and Teach!", a slam at lefty academia.

This CD has made it onto MY Christmas list.
(Damn, I've blown the surprize for you, Lem!)

This might be the one disc that makes me finally put a CD player in my car!

(Note: Last night the site for ordering was on the fritz-I hope it's working today.)

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Bloody Brilliant!

(I howled, I laughed, I cried...Marvelous epic fom Kurl at Slate.com
Big fat hairy Hat Tip to Dread Pundit Bluto.)



The Night Before Christmas, 2006

'Twas the night before Christmas, Two Thousand and Six
The Republicans reeling, they’ve taken their licks
They’ve ceded the Senate, and even the House
Still in search of a message they failed to espouse

The libs all agog, they’ve been taking their meds
While dreams of impeachment would dance in their heads
The RNC headquarters slept like a morgue,
As the Dems celebrated with moveon.org

There’s a lesson to learn from November’s election,
And our country’s prepared for a bold new direction
Our agenda enriches each woman and man,
And we’re finally prepared to expose our new plan

The first of our issues attentions require
Is the war in Iraq, it’s a bloody quagmire
It is evil George Bush who must shoulder the blame
We demand that he grovel, admit to his shame

He’ll address the whole nation, confess to war crimes
A moment so poignant, so sweet and sublime
More rapid than donkeys the Democrats gathered
And they whistled, and shouted, they carped and they blathered

"Hey Harry! Look Howie! Fat Ted’s on a bender!
He partied with Kerry! There’s talk of surrender!
Murtha’s trashing the troops and proclaiming with joy:
"We must quickly turn tail and at once redeploy!"
We shall prosecute soldiers, shut down Abu Ghraib
Free those poor tortured souls at Guantanamo Bay
All the clerics, jihadists, Imams we’ll embrace
Lest no one be judged by religion or race

Let’s get to it now, in our very first session
And avert a train wreck of the next Great Depression
These destructive tax cuts, irresponsible gamble
Our economy languished in tatters and shambles

There’s a growing abyss ‘tween the haves and have nots,
While the working stiffs struggle, they cruise on their yachts
We shall soak all the rich for those falling behind,
Well, except if their name ends in Soros or Heinz

Now roll back those cuts! We’ve compassion! We care!
It’s high time that the bastards cough up their fair share!
And across this great nation prosperity reigns
With a buck fifty hike in the minimum wage

If you’re under the weather, you’re sick or you’re bleedin’
Get ready for treatment from France or from Sweden
For the system’s on life support, needing repair
Usher in the new era of HillaryCare

Got a hangnail, a pimple, an ache in your back?
Join the end of the queue for a government quack
Does your gender need change, God forbid emphysema?
Come and stop by our clinic, it’s run just like FEMA

Pelosi’s at work, now she’s draining the swamp
The people have spoken, we won in a romp
An end to corruption would certainly please her
She’ll ignore 90 Gs in Bill Jefferson’s freezer

Let us bury the hatchet, rise above all this drama
Join hands in a circle, genuflect to Obama
And though we’ve banned Santa, he’s surfaced in spite
"Merry Christmas (er, um, scrap that) Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good night!"

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

"Farts on a Plane!"

This adds a whole new dimension to the phrase "Dirty Bomb".







Flatulence, not Turbulence, Forces Plane to Land
(Passenger lighted matches to hide odor)

By SAMUEL SHU

"Flatulence brought 99 passengers on an American Airlines flight to an unscheduled visit to Nashville early Monday morning.

American Flight 1053, from Washington Reagan National Airport and bound for Dallas/Fort Worth, made an emergency landing here after passengers reported smelling struck matches, said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority.

The plane landed safely. The FBI, Transportation Safety Administration and airport authority responded to the emergency, Lowrance said.

The passengers and five crew members were brought off the plane, together with all the luggage, to go through security checks again. Bomb-sniffing dogs found spent matches.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal body odor, Lowrance said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane.

"American has banned her for a long time," Lowrance said.

She was not charged but could have been. While it is legal to bring as many as four books of paper safety matches onto an aircraft, it is illegal to strike a match in an airplane, Lowrance said."

From The Tennesseean

As a woman, I have to say that this rates right up there as THE most embarressing life event you could suffer.

You guys out there, on the other hand, would be down at the bar tonite bragging about it, if it happened to you!

And therein is yet another critical difference 'tween the sexes.


So, she has a "medical condition" and she did what she did to try and avoid grossing out the other passengers and for this the airlines ban her from future flights?
I SMELL LAWSUIT!
But, in the best interests of all parties involved it might be best to just let this whole smelly affair fade.
Put it behind them, so to speak.

May I recommend this site for her?

Monday, December 04, 2006

"A Blonde's Year End Summary"

(Got this in an email-it's a new one to me, so I'm just passing it along.)

A Blonde's Year’s End Summary:

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels ...Helllooo!!!...those little bottles won't fit in the typewriter!!!

March - Got really excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on the Macy's escalator for hours after the power went out!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid...those instructions are all wrong!...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July -Lost breast stroke swimming competition ... learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M&M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!

December - Couldn't call 911...DUH!.....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

I hope next year will be better.

Congratulations, You're Now Your Mom

The younguns went back to school today after their long "snow day" weekend. Normally they get sent out the door with a gutfull of cold cereal and maybe a mug of hot cocoa if it's chilly. But today it was frightfully cold-hovering around 10 degrees. My mom guilt wouldn't let them leave without something warm in them. So I quickly whipped up some 'breakfast burritos' while they were getting dressed. Scrambled eggs & cheese wrapped up in a warm tortilla. A hot breakfast is usually a Saturday morning event, but what the hey, this was simple and quick-it wasn't the full monty Saturday fare of pancakes, eggs and bacon. To expedite it even more, I just used a couple of slices of that fakey cheese that we use for grilled cheese sandwiches. Just laid a few torn pieces on the tortilla before piling the eggs on. That stuff melts quicker than regular cheese. And "gooey" is always a plus for my younguns when it comes to food.

My youngest, the food snob, caught onto my ruse immediately.
"Ahhh, Mom...I don't like that cheese!" (Funny, she never complained when I use it for grilled cheese.)
The whiney tone hit just the right button, and before I knew it, the ghost of my Mom possessed me...with a little updating for current events-
"Young lady, there are kids in North Korea who would not only love to have just a sliver of that cheese, but they'd gladly eat the wrapper, too! Now eat up and quit your whining!"

My Mom's geo-political reference had always been Kenya when it came to food showdowns and for me the item of contention had always been cooked carrots, but just for a second there a freaky feeling fell over me...the tone, the inflection...yikes! It's was my Mom! I'm sure most moms can relate to this on one level or another, but this was the first time that I had been conciously aware of parroting my Mom in such a situation. It had always sounded so dumb, so dramatic and silly whenever she said it...and yet, it always worked as I eventually gagged down the mushy orange rounds of cooked carrots, secretly wondering if a boxful of them would survive the trip to Kenya and if I had enough in my piggy bank for postage.

There must be something to it, because my youngest dutifully went ahead and finished it. With exasperated sighs in between bites...just like I had done so many decades ago.
It's funny, the more things change, the more the stay the same-I imagine 20 years from now, she'll have a chance to say the same dang thing to hers and then suddenly be hit with the realization that she had been scolded exactly the same way, long ago and far away.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Could Have Been Worse...


Our little corner of Missouri faired better than the rest of the state, relatively speaking from this ginormous snow storm.

The torrential neverending toad strangler of rain FINALLY quit around 9 pm last night.
A full 24 hours of non-stop rain...over 7 inches around here. It briefly turned to sleet for a couple of hours there at the end, coating everything in a bumpy layer ice.
The flood water did get into the road and for a short time creeped into my yard, but thankfully it didn't get any further. Further down our little country road is trashed with flood debris and erosion and parts are still under water. Yep, won't be taking that way out for quite awhile.
The snow started up around 10 pm and by dawn all we had was barely an inch. Hardly covered the ground, but boy howdy, it's COLD!!
Much to the credit of the electric co-op, we didn't lose power. It did blink-enough to make any electronic stuff in the house start flashing. But compared to some places that still don't have power- We're damn lucky.

I guess we were just south enough that the air took longer to chill down, so we got all that as rain mostly. I shudder to think what it could have been IF it had all fell as ice and snow. Holy Crap! We wouldn't have been able to get out of the house!
But either way, we're stuck here for awhile. I've been told that the hiways and paved roads are clear and drivable...it's just getting to them from here that will be the hard part!!
Y'all up in Chicago and such are getting this crap today...good luck to ya, it's a doozy!

In a totally unrelated note, I hear it's Global AIDS Day.
Yippie.
I see the war on AIDS is going about as well as the War on Poverty.
The CDC estimates that there are about 800,000 people in the US infected with AIDS.
However, there are nearly 3 MILLION people infected with Hepatitis C in this country alone. And yet, it doesn't have a special day of it's own where politicians and experts schedule conferences and publicity "awareness" events.

2 words: Squeaky Wheel.

And since one of the biggest group of folks infected with Hep C tend to be middle class, middle age white guys, I guess that makes them even less important. Afterall, white guys are evil, right? They deserved it.