An Anthem for the Ecosystem

Well, the clock is tickin' on the official song submission for the Ecosystem. And I must confess, I'm still stymied. Not being a country music aficiando-I actually depise it to be honest- a near blaphemous statement for one such as myself, I know. I used to joke that there had to be some sort of federal FCC rule that ALL radio stations in rural areas and markets of less than 10,000 in population MUST be country music format or face stiff penalities and loss of their broadcasting license.

My mindset for this sort of thing isn't in the 21st century. When I think hillbillies, white trash, Ozarks and all things 'hick-y' the kind of music that comes to mind is stuff that was popular with the locals in the 30's and 40's.
The fact that we are in a time warp here just reinforces that thinking. The soundtrack in my mind as I drive these backroads and see ramshackled barns and old abandoned farmhouses would be akin to what they used in the movie "O Brother, Where Art Thou"-it captured the mood and times perfectly. I wasn't alive then, but my parents were teenagers during the Depression and lived in rural America. Their taste in music set from those times, so that's how I learned and found out about it, hearing the tunes they'd sing idlely while doing work around the house, the stuff they'd recollect about -conversational osmosis. My Dad's favorite song was "Big Rock Candy Mountain", which opens that film. That movie was the last one he ever saw and he completely enjoyed it.

I have fondness for that film, too. I think it's one of the more funnier movies I've seen in the past 10 years. Yeah, yeah-I know-Clooney has the lead in it, but I'm able to use that same sort of disconnect the Hollyweirdos use when they say they support the troops but are against the war- I enjoy Clooney as an actor, but hate him as a human being.
To me that film captured the essence of dumb white trash and desperate hillbillies better than anything to date. But I don't get out much, so if there are any other films that perhaps portray hicks in a better light, then by all means correct me.

Of course the centerpiece song in that movie was "A Man of Constant Sorrow", sung by Dan Tyminski.
The origins of that song are shakey. No one source seems to agree. It's one of those old bluegrass tunes that have been around since the dawn to time, getting retooled every few decades or so.

"I am a man of constant sorrow
I've seen trouble all my days
I bid farewell to old Kentucky
The state where I was borned and raised

For six long years I've been in trouble
No pleasure here on earth I find
For in this world I'm bound to ramble
I have no friends to help me now

It's fare thee well my own true lover
I never expect to see you
For I'm bound to ride that northern railroad
Perhaps I'll die upon this train

You can bury me in some deep valley
For many years where I may lay
Then you may learn to love another
While I am sleeping in my grave

It's fare you well to a native country
The places I have loved so well
For I have seen all kinds of trouble
In this cruel world, no tongue can tell

Maybe your friends think I'm just a stranger
My face you'll never see no more
But there is one promise that is given
I'll meet you on God's golden shore"

OK, so what does that gotta do with hillbillies and the like? Nothing really, just the genre of music. But I had to pull something outta my butt for this, so that's my best shot. Personally, I'm favoring my pal, Kathy's suggestion. She is way more clued in to modern country music than I. And I wasn't gonna cheapen this by coming up with the "Duh" choices like "Dueling Banjos".

Did "The Dukes of Hazzard" tv series have a theme song? I honestly never saw one single episode of that show! I was a loopy teen and had better things to do when that was on. Maybe that would be more appropriate. But perhaps it depends on what sort of image you're trying to convey. But when I think Ozark Hog Roast I think bluegrass. When I think of the people here whether they be slack jawed, booger eating inbreds or noble folks of the land, I think bluegrass.

Advice for New "Homeowners"?

I'm a member of our local Freecycle chapter. Freecycle is a nationwide network of trashy packrats that post junk to give away or junk they are seeking. I've used it with some sucess to get rid of old furniture in the past and I'm on their email notification whenever new request are posted to the local site. This was the latest request that came in this morning and I'm sorry...but I just find it amusing.

Hi!

We just purchased our first home! It is a trailer in desperate need of
refurbishing. We need carpeting, padding, vinyl skirting, toilets
without stains would be nice, and a stove and dishwasher. Also, any
advice on refurbishing a mobile home would be much appreciated. There
is terrible, terrible, soap scum and grime buildup in the tubs and
showers, help on how to remove would be appreciated, also.

Thanks,


Dear New Homeowners,

Did you guys lose a bet or something?
But seriously, is it insured yet?
3 bucks worth of gas and a Bic lighter should take care of the problem.

Just my 2 cents,
WTR

Jest Need to Brag Abit!

My eldest came home from school just now with this here ginormous purple ribbon.
Best in Show for the schoolwide Art Show!!!
WoooHooo! She is so thrilled and so is Mom.
This is the biggest award she has gotten...ever.
Dangit..I'm just so proud of her.
She won for a clay sculpture she did.

There will be much celebrating at the WTR HQ tonite. Having all her closest little pals here tonite makes it even more better.

Extreme Redneckism

You are an EXTREME Redneck When . . .

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, hold my beer fer a minute, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Bonus Comment

An East Texas couple, both bonified rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor asked them why, after nine children, would they choose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican, and they didn't want a Mexican Baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

A Giggly, Squealy Weekend Ahead

I'll be trapped in Pre-teen Hell this weekend. Eldest has a sleep-over on tap. We'll be host to a quartet of goofy 11 and 12 yr. old girls. My youngest has volunteered to stay at a little friend's for the weekend so it won't turn into an them vs. her type thing like these deals sometimes can.

I still have a lot to do today, so I can't be goofing around here. The dining room is back to a halfass semblance of order. But not complete as I had promised my daughter. There has been a major snafu with the flooring and the fancy schmatzy "one coat" paint wasn't, so I have to slap another coat on. Arrrgh. I knew I shoulda got the cheap crap from WallyWorld-I always have good luck with that, no-I opted with paint from True Value hardware. Dangit. There's a tremendous rant brewing about all that; but not here, not now.

It's an early out for the kids at school today, too. So that cuts into my prep-time. They all will be here by 2 pm. There's still snackage to stock-up on and a bathroom to clean, etc. plus, I have to go and fetch one invitee later because she goes to a different school and her folks don't have a car. (long sad story there...let's just say I'm glad my daughter is her very good friend. That poor kid needs some normalcy in her life. She really is a sweet kid...too bad her folks are so screwed up!)
So I gotta get rolling.

"Chocolate Jesus"

This morning I had to go over to the church and help with sorting out books for the library. Somehow along the way I had been appointed "librarian" (see what happens when you don't attend church board meetings!).
I don't mind the job, the library is in pitiful condition, full of old ancient books and "Gospel Trumpet" tracts that date back to the 30's that no one will or has read and has been pretty much demoted to a storage room. Our pastor's vision is to get it back to a real library, with relevant material that our congregation just might take an interest in. So, today we started the project, which will take quite a while, but I too, can envision a nice, tidy and well stocked library when we're done. I'm actually kinda jazzed about it.

Anywho, while we were sorting, the 3 of us (myself, the pastor and another lady) got to talking about old hymns and how some of the lyrics confused us as children. I had my story about "Bringing In The Sheaves"- I had always thought it was "bringing in the sheeps" and the pastor had a similar tale, only with her it had been "bringing in the sheets" and she had wondered as a kid what in the world laundry had to do with it.

But the other gal has us beat with her story. And I have to admit, I will never, ever be able to hear that hymn again now without busting up.
It had to do with that really good ol' gospel song: "Have a Little Talk with Jesus".
Her sister, as a child, would always sing it as : "Well, let us have a little chocolate Jesus, let us tell Him all about our troubles... Just a little chocolate Jesus makes it right."

I was laughing so dang hard I dropped a stack of books on my foot and about busted a gut...and now I can't get that version of the song outta my head!
And what really amuses me even more is that I was able to find a pic of a real 'chocolate Jesus' to go with this post!

It's Official..."

Tony Snow is the new W/H Press Secretary.
Damn...I guess now we won't be treated to a scene such as this:

"The Plan to Destroy America"

I got an interesting email this morning. My normal reaction whenever I get such an email that purports to be an actual quote or speech by a politician, celebrity or known author, either living or dead is go to Scopes.com to verify it. 9 times out of 10 they are all bunk. How many times have we got emails containing words of wisdom by (supposidly) by the likes of Robin Williams, Andy Rooney, George Carlin, etc.? Yeah, me too...I get sick of 'em. I'm always tempted to gyp some actual phenomenal speeches from history, paste 'em into an email, contrive some event or seminar to provide a plausible back story to it and tack my name to it as something I said and fire it off into the ethernet and watch what happens. But I do have some ethics. Not alot, but a few. So I don't.

Anyway, this email grabbed my attention and I just had to see if it had shown up on Scopes radar.
It was an alledged speech given by Gov. Richard Lamm. My red flag went up when I saw the phrase : "immigration overpopulation conference" WTF? Now that's a convoluted phrase to describe something. It sounded awkward. So I was suspicious. Plus the time frame was given as "last week"-Last week when? Last year? 5 years ago? This year? That's always a bad sign, in my book.
Damn, if this didn't check out as kosher by Snopes!! Not only that, but when Gov. Lamm found out about this email making the rounds, he wrote to Scopes and submitted a better and updated version of his speech!! So, it is that one I will run here in its entirity, if you want to compare the email version vs. this one, the Scopes page about it is here. This is the lead-in that Snopes gave this version of the speech, what blows me away is that he was a Democrat! His speech is a blantant slam at current Lib thinking:

"Richard D. Lamm was a Democrat who served as governor of Colorado for twelve years from 1975 to 1987. Of the above-quoted third person account regarding his speech on the perils of multiculturalism, he told us in mid-June 2005:
Yes, it is a speech I gave a year and a half ago in Washington D.C. It was a 5 minute speech, and I am amazed and gratified it has received so much coverage.

He also passed along to us the following "revised version" of his speech:

I HAVE A PLAN TO DESTROY AMERICA

RICHARD D. LAMM

I HAVE A SECRET PLAN TO DESTROY AMERICA. IF YOU BELIEVE, AS MANY DO, THAT AMERICA IS TOO SMUG, TOO WHITE BREAD, TOO SELF-SATISFIED, TOO RICH, LETS DESTROY AMERICA. IT IS NOT THAT HARD TO DO. HISTORY SHOWS THAT NATIONS ARE MORE FRAGILE THAN THEIR CITIZENS THINK. NO NATION IN HISTORY HAS SURVIVED THE RAVAGES OF TIME. ARNOLD TOYNBEE OBSERVED THAT ALL GREAT CIVILIZATIONS RISE AND THEY ALL FALL, AND THAT "AN AUTOPSY OF HISTORY WOULD SHOW THAT ALL GREAT NATIONS COMMIT SUICIDE." HERE IS MY PLAN:

I. WE MUST FIRST MAKE AMERICA A BILINGUAL-BICULTURAL COUNTRY. HISTORY SHOWS, IN MY OPINION, THAT NO NATION CAN SURVIVE THE TENSION, CONFLICT, AND ANTAGONISM OF TWO COMPETING LANGUAGES AND CULTURES. IT IS A BLESSING FOR AN INDIVIDUAL TO BE BILINGUAL; IT IS A CURSE FOR A SOCIETY TO BE BILINGUAL. ONE SCHOLAR, SEYMOUR MARTIN LIPSET, PUT IT THIS WAY:

THE HISTORIES OF BILINGUAL AND BICULTURAL SOCIETIES THAT DO NOT ASSIMILATE ARE HISTORIES OF TURMOIL, TENSION, AND TRAGEDY. CANADA, BELGIUM, MALAYSIA, LEBANON-ALL FACE CRISES OF NATIONAL EXISTENCE IN WHICH MINORITIES PRESS FOR AUTONOMY, IF NOT INDEPENDENCE. PAKISTAN AND CYPRUS HAVE DIVIDED. NIGERIA SUPPRESSED AN ETHNIC REBELLION. FRANCE FACES DIFFICULTIES WITH ITS BASQUES, BRETONS, AND CORSICANS.

II. I WOULD THEN INVENT "MULTICULTURALISM" AND ENCOURAGE IMMIGRANTS TO MAINTAIN THEIR OWN CULTURE. I WOULD MAKE IT AN ARTICLE OF BELIEF THAT ALL CULTURES ARE EQUAL: THAT THERE ARE NO CULTURAL DIFFERENCES THAT ARE IMPORTANT. I WOULD DECLARE IT AN ARTICLE OF FAITH THAT THE BLACK AND HISPANIC DROPOUT RATE IS ONLY DUE TO PREJUDICE AND DISCRIMINATION BY THE MAJORITY. EVERY OTHER EXPLANATION IS OUT-OF-BOUNDS.

III. WE CAN MAKE THE UNITED STATES A "HISPANIC QUEBEC" WITHOUT MUCH EFFORT. THE KEY IS TO CELEBRATE DIVERSITY RATHER THAN UNITY. AS BENJAMIN SCHWARZ SAID IN THE ATLANTIC MONTHLY RECENTLY:

...THE APPARENT SUCCESS OF OUR OWN MULTIETHNIC AND MULTICULTURAL EXPERIMENT MIGHT HAVE BEEN ACHIEVED NOT BY TOLERANCE BUT BY HEGEMONY. WITHOUT THE DOMINANCE THAT ONCE DICTATED ETHNOCENTRICALLY, AND WHAT IT MEANT TO BE AN AMERICAN, WE ARE LEFT WITH ONLY TOLERANCE AND PLURALISM TO HOLD US TOGETHER.

I WOULD ENCOURAGE ALL IMMIGRANTS TO KEEP THEIR OWN LANGUAGE AND CULTURE. I WOULD REPLACE THE MELTING POT METAPHOR WITH A SALAD BOWL METAPHOR. IT IS IMPORTANT TO INSURE THAT WE HAVE VARIOUS CULTURAL SUB-GROUPS LIVING IN AMERICA REINFORCING THEIR DIFFERENCES RATHER THAN AMERICANS, EMPHASIZING THEIR SIMILARITIES.

IV. HAVING DONE ALL THIS, I WOULD MAKE OUR FASTEST GROWING DEMOGRAPHIC GROUP THE LEAST EDUCATED - I WOULD ADD A SECOND UNDERCLASS, UNASSIMILATED, UNDEREDUCATED, AND ANTAGONISTIC TO OUR POPULATION. I WOULD HAVE THIS SECOND UNDERCLASS HAVE A 50% DROP OUT RATE FROM SCHOOL.

V. I WOULD THEN GET THE BIG FOUNDATIONS AND BIG BUSINESS TO GIVE THESE EFFORTS LOTS OF MONEY. I WOULD INVEST IN ETHNIC IDENTITY, AND I WOULD ESTABLISH THE CULT OF VICTIMOLOGY. I WOULD GET ALL MINORITIES TO THINK THEIR LACK OF SUCCESS WAS ALL THE FAULT OF THE MAJORITY - I WOULD START A GRIEVANCE INDUSTRY BLAMING ALL MINORITY FAILURE ON THE MAJORITY POPULATION.

VI. I WOULD ESTABLISH DUAL CITIZENSHIP AND PROMOTE DIVIDED LOYALTIES. I WOULD "CELEBRATE DIVERSITY." "DIVERSITY" IS A WONDERFULLY SEDUCTIVE WORD. IT STRESSES DIFFERENCES RATHER THAN COMMONALITIES. DIVERSE PEOPLE WORLDWIDE ARE MOSTLY ENGAGED IN HATING EACH OTHER-THAT IS, WHEN THEY ARE NOT KILLING EACH OTHER. A DIVERSE," PEACEFUL, OR STABLE SOCIETY IS AGAINST MOST HISTORICAL PRECEDENT. PEOPLE UNDERVALUE THE UNITY IT TAKES TO KEEP A NATION TOGETHER, AND WE CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS MYOPIA. LOOK AT THE ANCIENT GREEKS. DORF'S WORLD HISTORY TELLS US:

THE GREEKS BELIEVED THAT THEY BELONGED TO THE SAME RACE; THEY POSSESSED A COMMON LANGUAGE AND LITERATURE; AND THEY WORSHIPED THE SAME GODS. ALL GREECE TOOK PART IN THE OLYMPIC GAMES IN HONOR OF ZEUS AND ALL GREEKS VENERATED THE SHRINE OF APOLLO AT DELPHI. A COMMON ENEMY PERSIA THREATENED THEIR LIBERTY. YET, ALL OF THESE BONDS TOGETHER WERE NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO OVERCOME TWO FACTORS . . . (LOCAL PATRIOTISM AND GEOGRAPHICAL CONDITIONS THAT NURTURED POLITICAL DIVISIONS . . .)

IF WE CAN PUT THE EMPHASIS ON THE "PLURIBUS," INSTEAD OF THE "UNUM," WE CAN BALKANIZE AMERICA AS SURELY AS KOSOVO.

VII. THEN I WOULD PLACE ALL THESE SUBJECTS OFF LIMITS - MAKE IT TABOO TO TALK ABOUT. I WOULD FIND A WORD SIMILAR TO "HERETIC" IN THE 16TH CENTURY - THAT STOPPED DISCUSSION AND PARALYZED THINKING. WORDS LIKE "RACIST", "XENOPHOBE" THAT HALTS ARGUMENT AND CONVERSATION.

HAVING MADE AMERICA A BILINGUAL-BICULTURAL COUNTRY, HAVING ESTABLISHED MULTICULTURALISM, HAVING THE LARGE FOUNDATIONS FUND THE DOCTRINE OF "VICTIMOLOGY", I WOULD NEXT MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO ENFORCE OUR IMMIGRATION LAWS. I WOULD DEVELOP A MANTRA - "THAT BECAUSE IMMIGRATION HAS BEEN GOOD FOR AMERICA, IT MUST ALWAYS BE GOOD." I WOULD MAKE EVERY INDIVIDUAL IMMIGRANT SYMPATRIC AND IGNORE THE CUMULATIVE IMPACT.

VIII. LASTLY, I WOULD CENSOR VICTOR HANSON DAVIS'S BOOK MEXIFORNIA — THIS BOOK IS DANGEROUS — IT EXPOSES MY PLAN TO DESTROY AMERICA. SO PLEASE, PLEASE — IF YOU FEEL THAT AMERICA DESERVES TO BE DESTROYED — PLEASE, PLEASE — DON'T BUY THIS BOOK! THIS GUY IS ON TO MY PLAN.

"THE SMART WAY TO KEEP PEOPLE PASSIVE AND OBEDIENT IS TO STRICTLY LIMIT THE SPECTRUM OF ACCEPTABLE OPINION, BUT ALLOW VERY LIVELY DEBATE WITHIN THAT SPECTRUM." — NOAM CHOMSKY, AMERICAN LINGUIST AND US MEDIA AND FOREIGN POLICY CRITIC.

(I apologize for the caps, that's how it appeared on the website, and although I'm picky about that sort of thing, I just didn't have the gumption to go through and change all the caps.)

Wow...that's all I can say.

Population Explosion

After barely a month of being established, the Hillbilly Ecosystem has nearly tripled in size! Distant kin and cousins and step-kin are falling outta the trees like wild pears in a windstorm!
It's attracting some heavy hitters as well who probably come as tourists and then decide to set a spell and get themselves a home once they find out the locals aren't so crude and ig'nert as they 1st appear.

Right now the population is at lucky 13...who knows what it maybe at weeks end!?

Nothing would tickle me more than to see my Million Dollar Lottery Winner icon (the velvet Elvis painting up'chere in the corner.) on a big dog blog in the near future. (Well, aside from actually winning a real lottery, perhaps!) Hey...It could happen!

Once again, I'd like to extend a hearty How dee Do to all of those who have joined up in the past few days.

Lem, the unofficial mayor of the Ecosystem has proposed a Carnival of Hillbillies in the near future. I think in keeping with the theme, we oughta call it it a Hog Roast instead. I mean, that is the quintessential social event for all us hillbillies- Pie Supper is also another major event that ranks just below a Hog Roast.
Whattayall think?

"24" : Taking the Plunge

Well, boy howdy, the plot thickens.
Tonight we got to see the Puppet Masters behind the plot, namely, the Dreaded Bluetooth Cabal headed that smarmy demonic lout from "E.R." (at least, that's where I know him from, years ago. He was the guy you loved to hate...still do.)
They were getting their drawers in a wad about Pres. Loopner's ol' lady being a loose cannon and chewing the Pres. out about it. Loopner assured them "he'd handle it".
He does in the usual manner, locking her in a room and telling her everything. Oh great. Why Martha just didn't grab one of those hefty law tomes from the shelf she was collapsing against and whack Slinkyboy with it I dunno, might have blown her emotional meltdown scene, I reckon.

Which almost was the favorite tonite...But I'd have to say, just for shear Holy Crap factor, for me anyway, was when Audrey's daddy apologizes to Jack on the phone about not believing him and blah blah blah and then realizing his car is indeed being tailed by Hendersons goon squad in the helicopter and they do indeed have him marked for death-the little red laser spot fleeting past his face kinda clued him in on that- Daddy pulls a full blown Teddy Kennedy and drives his car right off the embankment and takes a really loooooooooooooo-oooooooooong plunge into a lake. Jeez! Lesson learned: Always-ALWAYS believe Jack. To do otherwise will leave you so wracked with guilt you will kill yourself for being such an idiot to doubt him.

OK...Dime to doughnuts, Daddy ain't dead. Probably was a Navy SEAL or something like that. He's got skills...or the luck of a Kennedy. He survived this...I just know it!
How? Beats me, But that's how it is sometimes in that curious parallel universe of Jackville.

Arrrrrgh!

BLOGGER BLOWS!

There, I feel much better now. We now will resume our normal blog day...assuming Blogger don't start drinkin' again.

Ms. Handyma'am (ugh)

(Note: This was originally attempted to be posted around 7:30 this morning, but Blogger is having YET ANOTHER one of it's all too routine nervous breakdowns. Mondays are just too much for it, I guess. Don't have time to waste dicking around with it...will try again later. Ok, so I guess it's later...)


A bit ago I mentioned trying to get the dining room redone. The progress has been slow at best. If I had an extra body about to help with the heavy lifting I might be just about done by now. As it is I have primer on the walls and all of the furnishings are all globbed up in the center of the room waiting for my next move.

Today's goal is flooring. But just getting to start that part will take a nice chunk of time. As I said, most of the furnishings are shoved altogether in the center of the room...all this stuff will need to be moved out and parked elsewhere while I get the new floor in. No easy feat. The White Trash HQ is not a spacious manor befitting a Dowager Vicountess, but rather a humble abode, amounting to less than 1200 sq. ft.
All this crap needs to be moved to the front room-but the front room already has it's share of furniture. Now I have to squeeze a table and chairs, a corner hutch, a small desk w/ 'antique' computer, file cabinet, an antique floor model Philco radio (which would work, if we could find tubes!) and misc. boxes of bricabrac (from the corner hutch.) into this space and still leave it in some semblance of order, or at least able to pass through and get to the front door! Ugh! Ain't looking forward to this. I hate that kind of chaos, even if it's temporary.

Once that's done, it'll go quick. This laminate flooring is a cinch to put in, having already done the front room a couple years back...it's just getting to that point that I'm hating. But, it's gotta get done. I have now set a finish date for later this week. Eldest spawn has a little birthday sleepover planned and order must be restored by this weekend! At this point, I don't know what is worse.

And I still haven't decided on wall color, either! Oh well...baby steps.

Sunday Funnies

Looks like weasels, scum and others have taken offense at being compared to Kerry.
Wuzzadem has their take on the situation.

WTR's Simple Pleasures

Mine are indeed simple. Nothing profound. Nothing revelational. Just things that make me smile, either inwardly or outwardly and make me glad I'm a human and not a raccoon or possum as I once wanted to grow up to be as a child. These are, by the way, in no particular order.

1) Having your child fall asleep in your arms. Whether they are newborns or near adults, nothing else can convey the total trust,love and security they feel for you than at that moment.

2) Cookie dough.

3) Strawberry shakes. Homemade with fresh strawberries! But I'll accept frozen berries in a pinch.

4) An ice cold beer after a day of yardwork. Not before-not during- but after it is all complete. A just reward for your efforts. That 1st sip is always the most refreshing.

5) Being able to gaze up at the night sky and see the Milky Way spread out right over your house! Being raised in the city, the only stars I can recall seeing was Venus and maybe a couple of the brighter ones in the Big Dipper. Living where I do now affords us the chance to see the night sky as God intended and it never fails to blow me way.

6) Beautiful music. Regardless of style or type. If it means something to you, if it stirs a good memory or takes you away somewhere then it is priceless.

7) The unquestioning loyalty of a good dog. Or 2...or 3...or....

8) The unquestioning loyality, love and trust of another special person in your life. Whether it be spouse, dear friend or child. Not everyone is fortunate to have such relationships. I am blessed.

9) Chickens. They amuse me and make me happy, therefore they qualify as a simple pleasure.

10) Being able to quantify one's simple pleasures, a fully functioning mind is a joy.


Ok, That's it for me. So this means I get to tag others!

Kathy, consider yourself tagged!

Lem...I can't wait to see what you come up with.

Cookie, I bet yours will have food predominate.

"Tag!"-- I'm It!

Patrick over at Born Again Redneck has tagged me, among others, to post their Top 10 Simple Pleasures. A daunting task, really, since he just about covered all the bases with his list, so mine will probably have some redunancy. Stevin at IONETIC also has some good ones on his list that I share in opinion.

I will post my list later on today. Right now it is Sunday morning and I must get the younguns up and at'tem, so we can get to church. I'll ponder upon these things during services-with the deepest apologies to our pastor for what might appear to be inattention, and make notes on the back of the church bulletin. But since I feel that all simple pleasures in life are God given, this will be an appropriate Sunday meditation.

The Big Day For "Little C"

Well, today is the day! I just got back from dropping the younguns off at school. My youngest had to be there early because today is the day of the field trip. Not just any regular field trip; this is the big kahuna, the whole enchalada, the holy grail, the mother of all field trips for these little guys. The one they have been talking about since day one of 4th grade and the one they have been looking forward to since 1st grade, I bet, for a few of them. Today is the day of the annual 4th grade trip to the State Capitol!

We had to be at the school at 6:45 am. The buses were to leave at 7 am, sharp. It's a 4 hour ride to Jefferson City. These guys aren't going to be back until after 8 pm!

For the 4th graders, this trip is a very big deal-it's a rite of passage from being a little kid to a big kid. To go on this trip means you have arrived. You ain't a baby any more. And for a lot of them it's probably the farthest they have ever travelled outside of their home turf. So you can see it's a big deal. A chance to see strange and exotic sights outside of Ozark county. To see how the rest of the state lives and to tour one kickass big old building with alotta cool stuff in it and visit the Governor's house. Oh yeah, and maybe even learn something about how state government is done.

My youngest was up even before I was this morning! That's how geeked she was about going.

All of us, as a family had been to the Capitol building years ago. My husbands hepatologist was at the University Hospital in Columbia, which is a mere 10 minutes from Jeff City across the Missouri river. So he and I had made the drive several times and in the summer we took the girls along. Once we stopped in Jeff and checked out the Capitol. It was under going restoration at the time so the outside was draped with huge tarps in spots and scalfolding was up all around it, at least on 3 sides. But the inside was still open to the public. My eldest can still remember the visit, but my youngest has fuzzy recollections. She told me today on the way to school that she had always thought that we had gone to the White House! Funny how kid's brains work.

So anyhow, I'm sure she'll be exhausted but full of exciting tales and fun facts when she gets home tonight. And I can't wait to hear them!

While trying to find a pic to go with this post I came across some interesting stuff myself.
Like f'instance, this is the THIRD Capitol building this state has had-the first 2 both burned! The 1st one in 1837 and then the building that had been built to replace it burned to the ground when the dome was struck by lightning in 1911. Either this is an example of good ol' Missouri mule stubborness or maybe God was trying to tell 'em something. (I kid.)
I found a rather dramatic old photo of the Capitol in flames from the 1911 fire, but the site is no longer up, so we'll have to make due with the thumbnail copped from Yahoo search.It just looks so spooky. I imagine it was quite a heartbreaking sight to the folks in town then.


Another cool thing I'm sure my little one will tell me about are all the wonderful Depression era murals that cover so much of the interior. Scenes like this one.
All the murals inside were done by Missouri native Thomas Benton in 1935. I was in awe when I saw these. They're just gorgeous. The whole place is. It has a subtle opulance and grandeur befitting a State Capitol. I felt so proud walking about in there. I hope my little one will feel that, too.

Now, if I have piqued your interest, more fun facts and pics of the Missouri State Capitol's artwork can be found at Missouri Memories.

There had been some speculation 2 years ago that due to lack of funds and rising fuel costs, the 4th grade trips to Jeff City would be discontinued. For a tiny hick school district like ours, it is quite an expenditure. I don't know how they did it, but somehow they found the dough to continue this tradition. I'm glad. Shoot, I would have kicked in some gas money myself if it had come down to it. This is one field trip, I feel that is worth it to the kids.

UPDATE: Fetched my little one last night around 8:45. Our schoolbus driver had volunteered to drive for the field trip and had told me that morning that if it was ok with me, mine could just ride home with him on the bus and I could get her at his place, which is only about 2 miles down the road from me. Hey, sure! Nowadays, anytime I can get out of a 40 mile round trip with gas at 2.80 a gallon is fine by me!! I appreciate his thoughfulness.

Anyhow, she was so tired but still wound up and told me all about her day. She had saved me a soft taco from Taco Bell from their dinner stop. It was now all cold, gooey and greasy, but it's the thought that counts, right?

Anyway, her biggest impression she got was from all the artwork."Oh Mom, it was awesome! And didja know that all those paintings were done with eggs?" "Why, yes...egg tempera." I said.
She also reported there was some disention in the ranks-the usual school boy hijinks- (there always is.)"Mom, Robert (not his real name) has to go to the principal's office on Monday! He acted up."
"What'd he do?" (knowing this oughta be good, knowing 'Robert'.)
"During the tour, we were right under that big dome...and he started making farty noises!...And they were really loud, too!"
Can I say that I didn't hear the rest of what she said because I was laughing too hard?

Dubya Said What...??!!!

I was doing a bit of research for a project my eldest and I have been noodling around with and I found this blog. It's Bolivian, and since I couldn't read a lick of it as it was listed in the search and it had a handy dandy "translate this page" link I went ahead and clicked it.
Oh. My. God.
I'm not too sure exactly where this blog stands politically, not that it matters, but the post has to do with quotes attributed to George Bush. Needless to say, I think something got lost in the translation. I know George sometimes has some trouble with public speaking- but Holy Cow!
Anyhow, it's purty dang funny, here's a few "quotes" to get ya started:

"Is know the human being and fish dog coexist peacefully."


"The War against the terror involves to Saddam Hussein by the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and its will to terrify to he himself."

"This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. And having said that, all options plows on the table."

"I love the idea of to school in which people eats to get educated and stay in the state in which they're educated."

You get the idea. The blog's called "Palazosala Pinata" or something like that. The translated comments are amusing as well. Here's the link for the translated page.
So go on over and visit-heck, maybe even leave the guy a comment!

"The Gospel of Jed"

Now is it just me- or is this just downright odd?

New Kin and Cousins

I see the Hillbilly Ecosystem is growing! Just today it got 2 new additions and over the weekend we suckered-oops, I mean, welcomed, yet another blogger to the clan-Alabama Improper.

The new kin would be E L Fredrick and PaPundits, who appear to be connected somehow, either by being step kids or illegimate cousins to one another. Hey, we is hillbillies, after all-no tellin' how our family trees are branched.

Now, Miz Alabama seems like the sort I wouldn't mind knocking back some cold Milwaukee's Best with and commence on about bitchin' about life in general. Add some J/D shooters to the mix and no telling what trouble would find us. (of course this would entail getting suitable babysitters for the younguns, first...which is why Mom ain't had a girls nite out in eons!)

As for E L...well, it seems that boy's obsessing about websites and titty bars at the moment. Can't rightly comment on that, but I can understand his predicament from a ethical business standpoint. PaPundits seems to be chockful of news yous can use and is worth a looksee.

Oh and lest I forget- my local pal Kathy at Hicks, Hounds and Halachah finally caved in to persuasion last week and joined up...hope she don't regret it!

Welcome to the family, y'all!

Dang! Too Late to Get Tickets, I Reckon

Portland, Oregon will be the site of a big bash on April 20th celebrating what would have been the 100th birthday of Lord Buckley.

My brother hipped me to him when I was about 12 years old. It was love at first listen. He was an odd duck. Not necessarily a comedian in the usual sense, but rather a wordplayer. He loved the black jive lingo and spoke it almost exclusively in his bits. He was big with the beatniks. This trippy old white dude who spoke like a black man, wore tuxes and just generally acted extremely eccentric. What's not to like?
One of his best bits (and one I commited to memory as a teen,) was his take on the Gettysburg Address, to only read it and not hear it takes some of the fun out of it, though:

"Four big hits and seven licks ago,
our before-daddies swung forth upon this sweet groovy land
a jumpin', wailin', stompin', swingin' new nation,
hip to the sweet groove of liberty and solid sent upon the Ace lick
dat all cats and kiddies, red, white, or blue, is created level in front.

We are now hung with a king size main-day Civil Drag,
soundin' whether this nation or any up there nation,
so hip and so solid sent can stay with it all the way.

We have stomped out here to the hassle site
of some of the worst jazz blown in the entire issue.

Gettys-mother-burg.

We are here to turn on a small soil stash of
the before-mentioned hassle site as a final sweet sod pad
for those who laid it down and left it there
so that this jumpin' happy beat might blow forever-more.

And we all dig that this is the straightest lick.
But diggin' it harder from afar we cannot mellow,
we cannot put down the stamp of the lord on this sweet sod
because the strong non-stop studs, both diggin' it and dug under it,
who hassled here have mellowed it with such a wild mad beat
that we can hear it, but we can't touch it.

Now the world cats will short dig nor long stash in their wigs
what we are beatin' our chops around here,
but it never can successively shade what they vonced here.

It is for us the swingin' to pick up the dues
of these fine studs who cut out from here
and fly it through to Endsville.
It is hipper for us to be signifyin' to the glorious gig
that we can't miss with all these bulgin' eyes,
that from all these A-stamp studs we double our love kick, too,
that righteous ride for which these hard cats
sounded the last nth bone of the beat of the bell.

That we here want it struck up straight for all to dig
that these departed studs shall not have split in vain,
and that this nation under the great swingin' Lord shall
swing up a whopper of endless Mardi Gras,
and that the big law by you straights, from you cats, and for you kiddies,
shall not be scratched from the big race."

Richard "Lord" Buckley passed away in 1960. Definately one of a kind.
Some more entertaining personal insights by others about him can be found here as well.

11 Years Ago, Today

It was a beautiful spring morning here in the Midwest, just like it is today and I was waddling around here about 9 months pregnant with my first, her due date only a couple of weeks away. (as it turned out, she went past the date and the doc insisted on forcibly evicting her in the 1st part of May-hey, she knew a good thing when she saw it, she wasn't in any hurry to leave her cozy digs!)
I was having a cup of decaf and had the local NBC channel on, the Today show was yammering away-just background noise as I went about my morning routines here. Hubby was at work-just another day here.

All that got put on hold a little after 9 am. when the local news guys broke in on the Today show to say that there had been a massive explosion of some sort in Oklahoma City-no details yet, but they were sending reporters to the scene and would keep us updated. Springfield is only a short drive away, relatively speaking, from Oklahoma City. I didn't think much about it, Oklahoma City is a big metropolitan area...it could have been anything- a gas line explosion, some sort of freak accident at a factory, some sort of unfortunate event that would quickly be explained away and we could just get on with our lives. Nothing to see here, citizen...move along.

So I did, got a load of wash going and started washing the breakfast dishes. But from the kitchen I heard the NBC "breaking news" signal. Uh Oh...if the network is mentioning it, it must be bad.
It was.
The rest of my morning got put on hold as I was glued to the set, dumbstruck at the carnage that was unfolding before our eyes. They were running stuff live, unedited and the scenes of chaos were upsetting. What they hell was going on??!! What could have done this?! You see, in my mind, probably like a lot of people then, the cause had to be a 'what'-not a 'who'. Yeah, we had been hit by terrorism before-but always abroad and always in connection with our military. The only exception to that was the first WTC bombing, but that had been just a fluke, right? And it had been so long ago.
To instantly jump to a terrorism conclusion had not been ingrained in us yet.

I don't recall just when that morning that the speculation of it being an intentional act begun. I just remember being absolutely heartsick and in tears when it was made known that a daycare center was in that building and probably a lot of little kids and babies may have perished. The maternal hormones, already running high in me, due to my state, overwhelmed me at that point, I began to cry that prolong wail that comes with inconsolable grief, I wrapped my arms around my huge belly and sobbed. How could they? Why would they? What kind of f***in' animal would do this to innocents!?? Video of bloodied little kids being pulled from the destruction just added to my indescribable anguish. I knew I should just shut the thing off, but I couldn't. I had to know.

By day's end they did have some idea at least of what had happened. And within 48 hours afterwards one of the suspects had been caught. We were shocked that the guy looked like US! He was a homey, a typical Midwest local yokel kinda guy. He wasn't some crazed middle eastern, mustachioed loon, spouting anti-American slogans. McVeigh could have been the boy down the road-y'know, the kid who cuts your grass on the weekends. And that is what upset us the most and gave rise to all the conspiracy theories that have floated about since. A weird sort of denial. How could there be a traitor in our midst? There has to be a reasonable explanation for this! Something 'the government' doesn't want you to know...etc. To this day, I'm not too sure what to think. When the link to American Nazis came up I got a chill, as did probably quite a few down here in my neck of the woods- see, the big bust of a major Aryan Nation type group right here in our neck of the woods some 9 years or so earlier was still fresh in our minds in these parts. Could this jackleg had been part of that bunch? Come to find out, they did eventually connect the dots and could tie him to that group. Oh great...as if the slack jawed, booger eatin' moron, inbred hillbilly image wasn't enough to contend with-now they had to bring that up, again! Add anti-Semitic white supremacist to the bad P.R. for our area. I was ashamed for my little county. I felt bad that we had become associated with that whole disaster, if only in a small way.

168 dead. At the time that kind of fatalities were only associated with major accidents, say like a plane crash. Our minds just couldn't wrap around that number as a result of an intentional act on our turf. That kind of thing only happened elsewhere. Europe, the middle east...not here. No way! This can't be.
Sadly, just a mere 6 years later, in NYC we would witness an act that made Oklahoma City look like Amateur Hour.
My thoughts are with all the families and survivors of this heinous act this day. I know they live with the heartache and trauma everyday, it may get a little easier with time but the sorrow will always stay.

Springtime Annoyances

Well, I had intended to make a nice little post about my day and some playing around I did earlier with M/S TerraServer trying to find my empire in the grainy satellite pics, but a funny thing happened on the way to the chicken coop tonight.
We've had some unusually warm (actually hot) weather for early spring here and that has caused the local buglife to bounce into high gear. Anywho just a bit ago as I went out to close the birds up for the night I thought I had stepped on a piece of glass. This is the country afterall and I do wander about with no shoes 99.3% of the time and these darn chickens with all their scratching do kick up the odd bit of debris. I felt under my left foot trying to find the chunk of glass-no glass shard, but my foot still felt like something was digging in, had a sharp needlelike throb to it. WTH?! It was then I put 2 and 2 together.
It was a wasp! Booger stung me right smack dab on the arch of my foot! Several times.

So I shut the birds up and quickly hopstepped back to the shack to get a glob of baking soda paste on this sting. I've been stung by wasps before and yellowjackets and hornets and the ubitquitous mud dabber with various results in the past so just to be on the safe side after the baking soda treatment I took a couple of Benadryl. The bottom of my foot has swelled up some and it feels like I'm walking with a tennis ball stuck to my arch but now the Benadryl is kicking in and I really don't care that I have a tennis ball stuck to my foot...I just wanna take a nap....like right now...................
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Oops, sorry about that...uh, I might have something tomarrow once I sleep this off!

"24" : Daddy, Don't Hurt 'Im!

Holy Moley, as we start the downhill slide towards the season end, things be's gittin' wilder and weirder. Another nail biter of an hour. But dangit! I really thought Anorexic Audrey was gonna buy the farm tonite, that stunt of cutting her and marching her out like a stuck pig was certainly not a trick Mr. Henderson picked up at some corporate negotiations how-to seminar. But as we see in the previews she survives-dunno how, since it's clear she only has about a half a pint of blood in her to begin with. But anyway...

It was a toughie tonite for favorite scene. We had Chloe making her escape by a quick boost of Greasy's keycard and now it appears that the 'secret agent'/Bond music is her theme, since it popped up again tonite. That made me grin. Then we had the shocking stuck pig thing I just mentioned. And there was Audrey's daddy confronting Loopner and getting him this } { close to signing his resignation. All close but no cigar.

My favorite scene tonite was when Jack passed the evidence on to Aud's daddy and he splits with it and now Jack and Aud have some quiet time alone in that old airplane hangar and Jack assures her that 'it's almost over' when BLAM! in bursts Daddy, 20 kinds of ticked off and before anyone can say "Boo!"- HE SOCKS JACK SQUARE IN THE ADAMS APPLE- dropping the mighty Jack to his knees. Damn! I didn't see that coming...and neither did Jack. The old boy still has a few good chops left in him.
But it was a bad move.Very bad. And as he found out later, he shoulda listened to Jack!

I'm now also convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that Pres. Loopner is indeed a Dem, based on something he said tonite about the people who elected him not being able to afford gas or to heat their homes--yep, sounded like something a Dem would say.

Easter Dogwoods

(I tried to post this last night, but Blogger was having another one of it's hissyfits and wouldn't let me upload any pictures. So now I'm a day late with this.)


The younguns and I today went for a little hike today up Door Knob and down through our woods that comprise 'The Big Backyard'. Our Easter Sunday here was an exceptionally wonderful one. Bright and breezy; big fat puffy clouds against a clear blue sky and warm enough to break a sweat. My intentions were to get some good pictures of the dogwoods on our place, but alas,
my camera is getting old and crabby and although it does great for human subjects and the occasional dog and chicken, capturing nature, as in plant life, it seems to fail. But it could be just operator error, too.

The display this year on my place is less than spectacular, but I've seen some trees on others property that are fabulous. So I don't know what's up with that. Most years when you look out into our woods all you can see are these thick masses of white- this year it's wimpy at best, as you can see here:














So I tried for a close-up, a little better:

















Then I tried for another shot of the woods, uh...doesn't really convey it. They just look like misty washes of white, not the huge masses of white they can be in some years.







I'm a little disappointed in the display this year. And these crummy pics just add to my dismay. There's a lot of fables as to why the dogwood is an understory tree and the symbolism of the blooms. The most common one is that back in Biblical times the dogwood was a tree that would grow just as big as an oak. And it was this tree that was used to fashion the crosses that Romans used for crucifixion-in particular, Christ's cross. As punishment to the dogwood, God decreed that henceforth the mighty dogwood would be always a small tree. Forever destined to grow small and unnoticed in the shadows of the bigger trees.

I have some problems with that tale, first off I don't believe that God would "punish" something of his making that has absolutely no say in it's behavior or how it is used. This trivializes God, making Him sound like a spoiled child. Second of all, I don't believe dogwoods can even grow in the climate of the Middle East. So they couldn't have been around there anyway. But it makes for a fanciful little legend, even if fraught with errors.

Something to Reflect Upon This Weekend

Lem at Hillbilly White Trash has wrote a piece on something that we, as Americans, often take for granted or may not even consider.
Go and take a read and ponder upon that.

It Had to be The Cute Little Guinea Pigs

Great...now I gotta go update the sidebar.

My Youngest Would be Thrilled !

I see somehow I'm now an Adorable Little Rodent inTTLB ecosystem.

(Only my pal Kathy will get the full impact of that.)

In honor of this tremendous achievement I would like to offer this little clip of an adorable little rodent singing and dancing.

A Brief Update on the School Thang

They have blocked the source and website information on the posters as per our agreement.
I'm glad to see it wasn't just lip service they were giving me.
A Thank You note to the principal is in order, I believe.

Moral Compass Alert

When you sign up for a blog at Blogger, you agree to the terms of Blogger and Blogspot. Here is a part of the Terms as they apply to you, the Member (highlighted parts for emphasis) :

"You agree to not use the Service to: (a) upload, post or otherwise transmit any Content that is unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, tortious, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, libelous, invasive of another's privacy, hateful, or racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable; (b) harm minors in any way; (c) impersonate any person or entity, including, but not limited to, a Pyra official, forum leader, guide or host, or falsely state or otherwise misrepresent your affiliation with a person or entity; (d) upload, post or otherwise transmit any Content that you do not have a right to transmit under any law or under contractual or fiduciary relationships (such as inside information, proprietary and confidential information learned or disclosed as part of employment relationships..."

Now, go read this and this and do whatcha gotta do, please.

"By Their Fruits Ye Shall Know Them"

The Born Again Redneck, Patrick has been going off on a tear about the illegal alien issue. If there is anyone who has the street creds to sound off about this, it would be him -having LEGALLY become a citizen many years ago.
On one of his recent posts he had a flyer attributed to the Democratic party that was going around at the protests in the Dallas area. Being a fan of communist propaganda poster art, whether it be China or the USSR, I had to comment about that on his blog on how eerily similar that flyer was to typical commie style "art".
Well, not being the type to have their mouth write a check their butt can't cash, I went off on a search...It didn't take me long at all to find an example. Ok, so it's not an exact duplicate...But ya gotta admit, it does have the same kind of feel about it. Below is the recent flyer in question.



Now, compare that to this oldie but goodie from Communist China:




Now true, the sunray motif was very popular in advertising art in the 30's and 40's-it draws your eye right in. But the Coms had a real love for it. Even the phrase on the Dallas flyer has that cutesy commie ring to it "Let's Work Together!"...The only thing missing is the word "Comrades" which could work either at the start or end of that sentence. One could further expand that phrase to read: "Comrades! Let's work together to defeat the repressive capitalist regime!" Now that would really tip their hand!
This is just a good example of how they are telegraphing just who all are behind this, trying to invoke the spirit and demons of "people's revolutions" of days gone by through their graphics.

UPDATE:
Discovered a few more.


The translation on this one I found amusing: "Government is Established by Guns!"
( Yeah, and once established, it'll take 'em away!)



This one has that ever popular, well worn stock phrase of commies the world around (sing along if you know the words!): "Down with American Imperialism!"

Ok, that's enough for now. I feel a tangent coming on and I better quit while I'm ahead. Got other things to do today.
Oh and in case you're wondering where I'm finding these, it's here.

A Precious Relic

When I made my trip back in February to California for Ma's memorial and internment one of my primary tasks was to retrieve the family mementos. Photos and items that meant something to me or held some historical value, stuff that Ma wanted to be passed along.
I had my short list of things I absolutely had to find. On that mental list was one of Ma's painted ties. She did that sort of thing to earn pin money as a young single gal and continued her craft after marrying Dad. She was quite proud of her work. Handpainted ties have always had a fad-ish aura about them, waxing and waning in popularity through the 20', 30's and 40's. She had mentioned to me once that she had consigned with a shop in her hometown to do custom work for them. If someone bought ties or blouses there, she could add whatever design they wanted. She did everything freehand, some right out of her imagination or working with a photo or graphic that the customer provided.

Anyway, as a child I can recall her showing me an example of her work. It was in a worn long, narrow box like one would use when presenting a necktie from a fancy store. It was a tie she had done for Dad. Whether he ever actually wore it was another question.
This recent trip yielded everything thing but the tie. I knew it had to be in the house somewhere. My brother was wracked with guilt, fearing that it might have got inadvertantly tossed out. I assured him that it would turn up. Due to time constraints I couldn't search through every cabinet, closet and junk drawer. Honing in rather on places where I knew stuff was for a certainity. But the tie eluded us. It wasn't where I had recalled it being stashed, but I was using a memory that was nearly 30 years old by then. Stuff gets moved around, stuff gets thrown away...but I knew that was one bit of family history that wouldn't. It had to be somewhere in the house.

Yesterday, my brother called with wonderful news! The tie had been found! He described the box to me over the phone. It had the stores' name and tagline printed in gold on the top: "The New York Hat Company, Muncie's International Center of Fashion"
(That just cracks me up, the bold hyperbole of their slogan. Muncie then was an even dinkier podunk of an Indiana town than it is now!)
As an unexpected bonus, inside with the precious tie I had recalled from my childhood was an old photo of Mom, displaying some samples of her work! This might have been displayed at the store counter with a sign telling customers that custom work was available. She was wearing a blouse she had painted with a design of a Japanese rooster, the long tail feathers swirling about, she was holding up another blouse, done with some floral motif and a tie with a detailed, but ridiculous series of dog heads was draped over her lap. My brother scanned the photo and emailed it to me. It's the photo below.
The tie box and contents is now on it's way to me. And I can't tell you how happy I am!

The Local Police Blotter

Unless there's some major big story on the front page, or a chance that my younguns picture might be in the School page, the first place I turn to in our local weekly is the Sheriff's Report where the daily calls are published.
Most times it's painfully dull. Cows loose on the road, neighbors dog barking, etc. But there are times when it's either rather funny or a little creepy, since, just like Sgt. Joe Friday, they give just the facts and are often just vague enough to make you wonder.
So, without further adeiu, here's some items of note from the lastest edition:

Mar. 27th, 2 pm --- Report of a lost cell phone.
(what did they want the deputy to do? Come and help 'em look for it?)

Mar. 28th, 7:06 pm -- Suspicious Incident (always a good catch-all phrase. It then goes on to list all the deputies and the sheriff, officers "from other departments" and finally the local ambulance service- Holy Cow! Wonder what that was all about?!)

Mar. 30th, 12:07 am -- Female caller reported she had married a man and discovered he was still married to someone else.
( being so close to the Arkansas stateline, one can't help but wonder if the "someone else" was the guys half sister. Also note the timestamp...can you say 'weepy drunk'?- "Ah wancha ta come down chere an' arress him, Ossifer! *sob-sniff-snivel* He dun LIED ta me!")

Mar. 31st, 10:18 pm --Suspicious vehicle. Truck with parking lights on only, someone walking around truck with a flashlight, someone screaming. Deputies responded. One person arrested on warrant.
(Ooooh, now that one had the potential to be a future movie of the week. But on the other hand it could have been some dumb SOB broke down and his ol' lady chewing him out from the passenger side.)

Chloe O!

Well, that was a delightful hour of "24" tonite. My, so much to absorbed. Throughly enjoyed it.
But just when I thought," jeez...I don't have a favorite scene tonite", they came through in the second half.

Chloe sneaks into the server room to booger up the satellite tail on Audrey. That alone wasn't enough to make this a favorite, 'cause Chloe, poor girl, is always pressed into service for these things.
No, it was the music! Totally retro-y James Bond music! Shades of Dr. No and Goldfinger. I loved it! It played the whole time while she was tweaking the satellite and then when Slick Greasy discovers she's not at her post and goes off to find her, knowing she's gotta be behind this lost signal crap, tension builds as he scurries through the hall and gets to the server room only to find it empty and Chloe emerging from the ladies room. Which of course gave her the chance to make a smartass remark to him when he questioned what she had been doing. The background music made the whole thing even better.

Yeah, I know, dumb...but I appreciate goofy little bones thrown in like that.

Spoiled Socialist Brats 1, Any Attempt to Govern 0

Are we surprized? It is France, afterall. I'm just surprized it took this long before Chirac and his boys cried: "Oncle!"
Man, and just for a brief fleeting moment I thought they'd have some backbone. Silly me!
France has long needed to take a learning from most good midwest American Moms. We don't put up with this crap when our own kids throw a hissy in the checkout line cuz they can't have a candy bar. I know the comparison is a bit of a stretch, but spoilt is spoilt, no matter the age or country.
A nation of crybabies.
Wonder what next affront to their sensibilities the world will be treated to?

Interview with the Moonbat

Sean Gleeson has a fun thingy on his blog and though it's old news, it's new to me.
Thought I'd take it for a test drive. Below is my "chat" with a virtual moonbat.

The Iraqui people like Americans, I think.

"Americans"!!!! I reject bombs and division! I believe, George W. Bonzo WANTS the moon for the oil!! Unlike you and Pope Benedict, I am not in love with envy!! Say no to war and superstition!!?

You're smoking crack, aren't you?

Oh, am I!!!!? I reject hatred and meat!!!! Allies, indeed! I reject profits!!!!

Prophets? Like Mohammed?

Mohammed, indeed!!! I believe, Michael Moore's book, "Theft Rules: Guns in the Oil Lobby," should be required reading for Repulsivans!!! Judicial restraint, indeed!!!! Say no to capitalism and death! Say no to our government of the jerks, by the sadists, and for Fox News. Power to the agnostics!!

But I think Shepard Smith is cute, in a Ken doll sorta way.

Your Jewish opinions are beside the point? You just don't get it, do you!!!! When the Rambos say "democracy," they really mean "graft"!!!!

But we're a Representative Republic, there's a difference.

Your Jewish opinions are beside the point? You just don't get it, do you!!!! When the Rambos say "democracy," they really mean "graft"!!!!

Now you're just repeating yourself.

Oh, am I!!!!? When the racists say "no child left behind," they really mean "envy". When they say "Biblical values," of COURSE it is just a code word for "occupation". Smirkelgruber only wants Canada for the oil. IMO. As a Native American, I am revolted!!!! The smirking chimp's War Against Outreach Efforts must end.

Smirkelgruber?

POWER to the Puerto Ricans!? What about INCLUSIVITY and bicycle paths for the 58,641 uninsured gays who are short-sheeted in Crawford every single day by our COMMANDER-in-Thief and his reactionary partners in crime!? It's like 1952 all over again!

1952 was a nice year.

Is that what you THINK!!!? Say no to war and fur!!!! Come on!!!!

Are those shoes leather?

What do you mean, "leather"!? If you aren't randy about the fear and bribing of this Boy King, it's obvious you are a REPIMPLICAN!? As a bisexual voter, actually I am crestfallen!! Say no to capitalism!!!

I saw Lion King with my kids...I really enjoyed it.

What do you mean, "enjoyed"!? Tom Ridge is a tool of Halliburton? Federal Marriage Amendment, indeed. Howard Dean's book, "People vs. CONDOLEEZZA Rice: a Tale of Dishonesty," should be required reading for Repulsivans!!! What next!!! Will the murderers come to hypnotize me for being a Democrat!!!?

Sure, sounds good to me.

Sounds, INDEED!! We've seen this before, in coral REEFS, when 45,051 paralyzed VEGANS WERE polluted by the coal industry!! (Or is that supposed to be a SECRET?) As I understand it, Shrubya caused Katrina by clubbing the unhappy gays in the U.$.A.!!!!

They probably deserved it.

Hey? I reject division. The Treasury Department can defenestrate countless trillions of Puerto Ricans, all in the name of "HOMELAND security"? Laura Bush!!!!? Sean Hannity!!? I can't tell one saber-rattling-loving, insurgent-needling, empty-headed mouthpiece for the oil lobbyists from the other!

Yeah, but I can.

All wrong! You really SHOULD read "The Carnivores Are Erasing Antarctica," by Noam Chomsky!! It totally changed my life. The Repopelickins stole the so-called election by molesting the bisexual voters!! What can we EXPECT next!? It's clear to me it's open season on Native Americans.

Noam Chomsky is a raving socialist tool.

Vote Noam Chomsky 2008. Unlike you and William Rehnquist, I am not in love with pollution!! Wouldn't you agree, when the creeps say "war on terror," they really mean "violence". When they say "weapons of mass destruction," like I've said a million times before it is JUST a code word for "war"!!!

And that's a problem because...?

Because, indeed!! Absolutists. Condoleezza Rice!!!? John Ashcroft!!!!? IMO, I can't tell one imperialistic altar boy for the Skull and Bones Society from THE other. (Dick Cheney either, figuratively speaking.) Alec Baldwin's book, "Whither the NATIVE Americans," should be required reading for RECRIMINALS like you!!! As a voter, indeed I am screaming.

Well, don't be gettin' all hoarse over me.

What makes you say hoarse!!!? When the Likudniks say "Christianity," they really mean "MURDER"!! What next? Will the pigs come to arrest me for being a Democrat!!!?

I wish they would.

Hey!!!? As a natural woman, I see I am pathetic. I assume, Son of a Bush caused Katrina by shredding the otters in the third world.

I don't shave my legs sometimes, does that make me a natural woman, too?

Sometimes, indeed!!! Allies, indeed!! U.S. get out of Montreal!!! The CATHOLIC Church can shred several million Puerto Ricans in the third world, all in the name of "family values"? That makes it okay, then!!!!

Well, I ain't Catholic, so I can't really comment on that.

Why do you say "Catholic"!? I reject division!!! Unlike you and Kenneth Starr, I am not in love with death!

The only time I love death is when it comes in the form of a nice fat steak!...grilled with A1 sauce.

"Love"? Can you believe it. The truth is at unspoiledkittensforreparations.org!!!! Bible-thumpers. As a herbivorous bisexual, I am glabrous! Puh-leeeez!!!

Wow, you must have a thesaurus handy.

Speaking of thesaurus! The lying thief's War Against Church-state Separation must end now!!! Power to the senior citizens!!

Well, it's been nice chatting with you but I must get ready to go to bed. Seeya!

What do you mean, "chatting"!? Since 1978, 33,198 Puerto Ricans have been urinated on in Ottawa!! Smirk only wants ANTARCTICA for the oil!!! Simply dismal!!!! I am not one of Tucker Carlson's society of imperialistic MOUTHPIECES!!!

Man, it's so realistic, it's spooky!
If you want to give it a whirl, go ahead and try your skills below. But note that sometimes you might have to hit enter twice. Like real moonbats, it can be a little deaf sometimes.



HT: Sean Gleeson

"Where's Mo-mo?"

Just for fun on a Saturday, let's see if you can do better than them *dumb, racists, 'bacca chawin', slack jawed, white trash NASCAR fans at spottin' radical Muslims in a crowd.



(Now I must confess, I did miss all the bruhaha- that segment aired last on Dateline that night, after they devoted almost all of their airtime to some nutjob that claimed he had proof that Jesus faked his death. Once that was over I was so disgusted and ticked off I just turned it off! Dang, just my luck, I always miss the good stuff.)

* Well, that is how NBC thinks of you, right?

Just a Facitious, Stupid Question

While at the Stuporcenter yesterday I was in the produce section and I noticed all the lettuce, grapes and such were from Mexico, Chile and places like that.
In light of current events, I was wondering "Who do they hire to pick their produce?"

And in a related vein- The other day I was surprized to find out the Mexican laws as set forth in their constitution concerning non-citizens who chose to live down there. (mostly as cheap retirement options for Americanos) And they actually for the most part enforce them!
That settles it once and for all in my mind...We're being played for suckers. Have been...for generations. Just damn!

Manditory Reading

Emperor Misha has turned us on to an incredible sci-fi short story that everyone should read.
It's long, but stick with it-it'll chill you to the bone.
Never has the threat we face today been made more clearer to me than by this fanciful and terrifying little tale.
Now, go...read!

I Got Nuthin'

Well, I meant to have a post today. But I got to ranting so bad and so long on the subject that now the day's awastin' and I got stuff to get done. So I just hit Save...maybe later. I got paint to buy.
Hmm, the kids want something in a purple for the dining room (YUCK!) I'm favoring a muted burgandy or something in that range. We'll just see what grabs me at the Stuporcenter paint dept.

The Mushroom Factor (typical rural drama)

(pack a snack, kids, it's a long one today...)

So, yesterday I get the wild hare to finally start in on redoing the dining room, like I've been threatening to do for well over a year now. As they say, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step...or to put it in local parlance, 'Ain't nuthin' to it, but to do it!'
I finally got the gumption to do it.

Current situation has forced me into it. See, my younguns share a room, have all their lives, and as sisters are wont to do, the sniping, hostilities and general on'eriness that goes with sibling rivalry has reached a breaking point. The time has come for separate bedrooms. If just so's Mom can maintain what fragile grip she has left on sanity.
Ah! But even though we do have 3 bedrooms here, it's not as easy as it sounds.
For 20 years the 'spare' bedroom has been just that, a dual purpose room, sorta set up for company but also a respository for miscellaneous things-we all have a room kinda like that. With the advent of getting online services out this way many years ago it also became the logical spot to set up the computer and while my ol' man was around it was also "the office" for his assorted construction and remodeling ventures.

So now it had evolved into a multi-purpose room, a polite way of saying that now it resembles one of those 'Before' rooms on Clean Sweep! The room is a mess. Cluttered up with all kinds of crap. And I ain't even gonna b/s ya and say it's an 'organized' mess...cuz it's not. Back when I re-did the front room, a lot of unused and unneeded crap got parked in here temporarily from the front room during it's makeover. The crap is still here awaiting the trip to the thrift store that never happened, some of it was destined to be used or moved to the dining room when that got done. Which brings me back to that.

See, in order for Sis to have her new room, the dining room has to get done first, so that some of this stuff can be relocated there, the desk and computer moved out and set up in the dining room area, and all the excess junk can be cleared out once and for all! Plus there's the matter of changing the doorway to the spare room; it's current location is just plain ig'nert! I want to move it so it opens up more central to the center of the house. Namely on one of the dining room walls that it shares. This will involve some construction techniques at a skill level that I'm competent at, but I'm gonna have one of my go-to guys on stand by, just in case, when I get to that point, seeing how I'm a little leery about electrical stuff and there will be an outlet to reposition in order to frame the new door in.

So, yesterday I got busy. Started moving all the dining room stuff to the center of the room so I could get to work on the walls. There's 2 walls of abjectly hideous circa 1979 wallpaper to remove and 2 walls of equally abjectly hideous dark fake paneling to prime and paint over. (That crap you find in all the older farm houses around here, it's a decor cancer that must have ran rampant back in the late 70's. The local hardware store must have got a good deal on it and had a sale of epic proportions cuz I swear, it's everywhere around here!)

Now I could just pry the paneling off the walls, but I'm too smart for that-see, in these parts, no telling what horror story you're gonna find behind that paneling! Could be just plaster and lath, could be that and some even more decrepit wallpaper (about 6 or so layers deep!) or even better, old newspaper pasted to the walls as was the custom here in the 20's and 30's. (I've been in homes where they still actually have that on the walls! Mostly the Sunday funnies or old full page advertising.) I know I do have some of that under the paneling in the kitchen-I once pried up a loose side and peeked before tacking it back in. If there is good drywall under it, dime to doughnuts, the id'jets used Liquid Nails or some such crap to affix the paneling, so even trying to remove it would be a major can of worms that I ain't even gonna venture into, so prime & paint it is! As I have learned all my years here, just because one can see nailheads doesn't mean that they used only nails to stick something up. When Liquid Nails came out, these hillbillies just fell in love with it!

The major hang up I encountered was the floor moulding. Because of the way it was done this has slowed up my progress. I figured I could just gently pry it off and take outside to paint.
Nope, remember where I live. Nothing is done in a normal fashion here.
There's nails in this thing about every 3 or 4 inches! Some are the small headed nails one would use for this kinda job, others are 10 penny, some are even drywall type screws!!! What the screaming hell is that all about?!
So, progress has been frustratingly slow. I may have to bite the bullet and buy all new moulding, because it's looking like I won't be able to salvage it all. Damn!

Anyway, Tuesdays are my younguns dance class days afterschool, so I had to happily knock off early to go get 'em and run 'em to the dance studio. It was also local elections, so I had to go do my civic duty while in town as well. By the time we all got back, it was going on 6 pm. OK, I'm done for the day-I'll just go at it first thing in the morning.
The kids were outside in the back, shooting hoops and I was washing the dinner dishes. Typical evening here, and then the kitchen faucet got to sputtering-WTF?- then quickly quit altogether.
OH CRAP!
This is bad...This is very bad. This means well trouble. It was the abruptness that worried me-normally from my experience, you get some warning that your pump is about to quit. This was just BLAM! Not good. Already I could see about 2 grand sailing out the door.

I went out to the wellhouse to see what was up. Our wellhouse ain't one of those glorified doghouses you see around here-no, ours is a nice little building, about 12 x 8 and you can actually go in and stand up in it. The chest freezer is in there and shelves for stuff and a little workbench. Hubby's antique 'beer fridge', an old Hotpoint is in there, too, the well tank and such only takes up a small corner of the building and is inside a little room with heavily insulated walls. When I opened the door to it I couldn't see anything obviously amiss, aside from the pipes hissing and making gurgly sounds from being emptied and no pressure. I needed to switch on the light in there since it was getting dark outside to really get a better look.

Hmmmmmmmm. Uh Oh. I hit the light switch and the 60 watt bulb only glowed a feeble orange, again, Not Good. It wasn't getting enough juice! Something might be shorting out somewhere-this much I knew. I since I always equate electrical shorts with potential fire danger, I went and slammed the main breaker for the wellpump off. Damndamndamndamn!
I checked the fuses...they weren't hot and appeared to be alright. I sometimes have a hard time with fuses, cuz unless it's real obvious that they're blown-like little scorch marks on the inside or something, I can't really say one way or the other. But these looked to be intact. Kinda hard to tell in the half dark.
Naturally, these kinda things happen after regular business hours!
But, fortunately around here, most these guys work from home. I just hate calling them after hours...and at dinnertime, to boot. So I called up one of my neighbors to see if he had any ideas as to what the problem was. He agreed that it might be a short somewhere, but other than that...but he did refer me to a guy nearby who might be able to help. So I called him. He wasn't in yet, so I talked to his wife, briefly explained the trouble and she said he'd call me first thing in the morning.
He didn't.
I had to call him. And then after hearing my tale of woe he told me that it might be a short in the pump motor and he don't do pumps anymore, just straight electrical, so he gave me another guy to call. I called him. He was flummoxed. But gave me some things to try-like checking the main box at the pole, etc. I did and reported back that everything was fine there.
"Huh! Well, ya gonna be in later today? I gotta job this morning but I oughta be done wit' her by lunchtime...ya gonna be home? I could swing by then."
Excellent! Please do!

So that's where it sits now. I can't really get going on the dining room, cuz I don't have water to help scrape the wallpaper off or to clean paint brushes. I can't do laundry, cuz I don't have water. I can't do much of diddly except whine and moan on the ol' bloggo here.
Luckily, there's still water running in the creek nearby, so I can go over and get a bucket or 2 of that so we can flush the pot. Might just do that right now. It's gettin' purty spooky in the bathroom right now. I did break out the 'emergency' stash of water-3 milk jugs that I keep around for just such things so I was able to have my coffee this morning and we could get cleaned up abit. But that'll only hold us for a day or so.
So this guy better show up today! And hopefully, it won't be a gazillion dollars to fix.
At this rate, lil' Sis just might get her new room by Christmas!

UPDATE: Well, damn if that don't beat all! I'd no sooner got back from the creek, luggin' a bucket of creekwater when here come the electrician guy! Oh happy day!
He did some mojo with his meter thingy. Pondered the wires running from the pole to the wellhouse, checked the breaker box at the pole, did some more cogitating and then resorted to the ultimate characteristic hillbilly method of troubleshooting : He picked up a stick laying in the yard, reached up and whacked the wires running into the wellhouse! I had to laugh, surely it wasn't that easy!!
Sure enough when we went back in there and he flipped the lever- the light shone brightly, the pump motor started to hum, the freezer and fridge kicked in.
"Sunnvabitch!" was all I could say.
He just laughed. "Now ya know whut ta do the next time it happens."

Well, can you fix it so it won't happen again, Mr. Man?

He did, went up there and tightened some connections and then taped them up. The tape that was on there had gotten old, brittle and frayed exposing some wires and shorting them out and that was the problem. A simple (Thank Ya Jeezuz!) fix and he only wanted 45 bucks for his trouble. More than fair enough!
Now I gotta get going and try to salvage what's left of the day.

Stupid Is As Stupid Does, part 2

Oven Doors Being Passed Off as Flat-Screen TVs


SOUTH BEND, Ind. -- A rash of oven-door thefts may be linked to a recent case in which a woman bought what she thought was a flat-screen TV, only to discover that the package held an old oven door, police said.

South Bend detective Sgt. Jim Walsh said police arrested a suspect Thursday they believe sold the door to the woman. Police said an oven door and packaging materials were found in the trunk of the man's car.

Oven doors are an increasingly hot item in burglaries targeting vacant properties. Walsh said oven doors were among the items stolen in five recent burglaries.

Police have had two reports of the doors being sold as flat-screen TVs, and it's likely that others went unreported by the embarrassed buyers, Walsh said. Officers are investigating at least two other suspects who may be disguising oven doors and selling them.

Walsh said it's risky to buy products off the street, particularly without opening the package first.

In the case of the bilked woman, she was approached by the suspect Feb. 20 at her workplace with an offer of a flat-screen TV for $500. The suspect settled for $300. But when the woman unwrapped the packaging, she found a cord, a controller -- and an oven door.

HT: Free Republic, via the Chicago Sun-Times